Fragile (Cedar Lakes University, #2)
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Read between June 7 - June 10, 2025
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To anyone who has ever lost themselves only to build themselves back up to be stronger. Your strength is greater than any struggle
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I watch as he drops his head into the kiss, and my heart shatters for the millionth time in my life because the girl he’s kissing isn’t me.
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Being in love sucks. Being in love with someone who is blissfully unaware... that’s a special kind of torture.
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New page, new chapter, and yet another year fantasizing about someone I’ll never have. But that’s okay, I’m used to it.
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A few vines, abstract drawings, roses, some playing cards, my favorite one being the Queen of Hearts.
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Shrinking into my chair, I pull my notebook closer to my chest, keeping it to myself and glad no one except me looks at it, because they’d immediately notice that the entire thing holds hints of him. Even if the topic has nothing to do with him, it always does. He’s woven into my life so deeply, it’s painful, yet I wouldn’t want it any other way.
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“Hey, Queenie,”
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“Are you okay?” I ask as I rush over to her. “I-I lost my favorite doll today at the store,” she sobs, burying her freckly face in her tiny hands. “Mom told me to leave it in the car, but I-I forgot and I r-really wanted to b-bring her. She would g-get lonely in the car.”
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“I know what will make you feel better.” Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the packet with my last gummy worm inside. It’s red and blue. “Here.” I open it, offering her the worm. Her nose wrinkles when she sees it. “What is that?” “Gummy worm.” “But that’s your last one.” “I know. You can have it, though. I don’t mind.”
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I hug her, careful not to spill my drink on her back, moving her body until she’s in front of me. Her head tucks into my chest like it always does when I bear hug her.
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My gaze goes back to my drink as my lungs inflate to the fullest, collecting all the thoughts inside my head about the boy I’ve spent my whole life loving. I hold that breath in my chest until my lungs burn with the need to release.
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Pressing my knuckles to my sternum, I rub at the ache that’s always present when I think of him and try to lock the feelings down once again.
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“You mad at me, Queenie?” My fingers tense in his, wondering why he cares anyway. “Why would I be mad, Miles? Because you’re drunk off your ass, or because you were hanging out with Levi?” Or because you had your tongue down another girl’s throat?
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“Yeah, but you didn’t like it. I saw you watching me earlier, and I can tell by the way you look at her that you don’t like her.”
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“You know, you’re better than this, Miles. Better than getting wasted and hanging out with people like Levi. Better than making out with random girls at parties.”
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want to reach out, take his hand again, but with the smallest of touches he’s already given me, my heart won’t cope.
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“Quinn,” he says softly, breaking the silence. “I’m sorry.” “For what?” “For everything,” he mutters, his eyes still on mine, still a little glassy. “For being an idiot.”
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I force a smile because if I don’t put my mask on, I might break down into tears. He might love me, but he doesn’t love me the way I love him.
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“First down.” I gently tap my fist against his, biting the inside of my cheek to stop my eyes from filling. “All the way.”
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No one but me and Levi knows about the something extra, and no one will.
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“You just get me, Quinn. Marry me already?” My hand immediately sneaks into hers as I pull her away from him, and into my side instead, feeling instantly better that she’s close. “I’ve got more of a chance of marrying her. At least she likes me, and I happen to know the most about her.”
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“Quinn June Ophelia Dawson also likes gummy worms,” I say pointedly, feeling territorial as I stare at Hudson. “Exclusively, the red and blue ones. She loves romantic comedies, her favorite color is pastel yellow, her favorite flowers are wildflowers, and she hates wearing flip-flops because when she was nine years old, she almost broke her toe tripping over in her new Havaiana flip-flops that she spent a month’s worth of chore money on and then donated them after that. And up until the age of six, she couldn’t say Caterpillars, she used to call them Callepitters.”
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“Quinn, it’s okay, you know…to talk to him.” I shiver at the mention of doing that. “Him who?” “I’d say your brother, but we both know you don’t need permission to rip him a new one and tear that tight leash he has on you right out of his hands.” She levels me with a stare, and I know I won’t like what she’s going to say. “I’m talking about the boy you’re madly in love with, Quinn.”
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“Talk to Miles. Tell him…something. Anything.”
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“I-I can’t, Indie. I wouldn’t know where to begin.” “How about…‘Hey, I like you. Wanna go on a date?’” She wiggles her eyebrows teasingly. “You wanted to date more anyway, right?”
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This is the moment I could share my pain with my best friend, and he would help me fix it, make it better, because that’s the kind of guy he is. But instead of going to him, I keep my mouth shut, bury the shameful secret that my problems are masked in the form of a little pill that gives me the boost I need for my dad to remain on my good side.
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I can tell she already knows my heart isn’t in it. I’m lovesick, have been my whole existence, and there’s no cure. Yet here I am, trying to move on.
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It’s the truth. I go through phases of love and loss without having ever romantically been involved with the person I love. It’s like sunshine without the warmth. Ice cream without the sugar high. But the thing is, I wouldn’t change how I feel.
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“Yeah, I want to date.” I fluster for a second before adding, “But not Hudson.” I cast an apologetic glance to him and return to Miles. “I want to be wanted by someone and get butterflies and have someone care enough to be around me without you and my brother ruining it.”
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When you’re faced with a decision for your future, no one tells you how many roads there are to take. No one tells you that it’s so multifaceted when you make decisions for yourself as an adult.
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“Quinn?” he breathes. “I’m here,” I whisper, my heart racing. “I need you.”
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A wave of sensation sweeps over me, my breath faltering as his touch sends goosebumps racing across my skin. And before I can process the apology or the emotion flickering in his eyes, his hands are on my face, cradling it between his warm palms, angling me so I have no choice but to look up at him. My pulse flutters just below the tips of his fingers, and for a moment, the only thing I’m aware of is him, the intensity in his gaze. A gaze that’s full of something so powerful and potent that I can’t look away. And then he leans in and the world stops spinning.
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I can’t breathe. I can’t think. All I know is that his hands are still holding me in place, grounding me, and I don’t know if I want him to let me go or pull me closer. If he lets go, I’ll never forget the feeling of kissing him, not now that I know what he tastes like, how he feels. I’ll forever be haunted by it. But if he pulls me closer, that means he chooses me. And I’ve spent my whole life being overlooked that the thought of him actually choosing me feels like something I can’t afford to believe in. Not yet.
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A soft breath escapes me, and it ignites something within him. His fingers weave into my hair, pulling me closer as his lips crash into mine, rough and unrelenting. Fierce and possessive. And my body freezes all over again. Reality slamming into me as hard as his mouth is. This is real. Miles is kissing me.
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I don’t want to be another person who rages at him, even if he does deserve it. I want to be the one he comes to when he needs help.
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“Quinn, I’m sorry, but I need to say this,” he begins, and the remaining shards of my heart fall to the ground at his feet. “I shouldn’t have kissed you…” Please don’t say it again. I can’t handle it. “Because you deserve more than a drunken kiss. And now that I know exactly what you taste like, I want more.”
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“I shouldn’t have done it because it complicates things. Because you’re my best friend’s sister. Because you’re my best friend. But I don’t regret it. Not for a second.” I blink, hope and confusion storming around my heart. “Y-you don’t?” He shakes his head lightly, his gaze falling to my mouth. “I can’t regret something I don’t want to forget.”
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His knuckles dust across my jaw, and I fight to close my eyes and lean into him more. “It means, I want a do-over. I want to ruin our friendship because I need to kiss you again.” He leans his head toward me, almost letting our lips brush, but not quite. “And again,” he breathes, his minty breath engulfing my senses. I nearly whimper. “And again,” he says finally, pulling back to study my face. “Until I earn all your kisses.”
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“Kiss me and mean it, Cooper.” I catch a glimpse of a smirk again before he pushes me fully against the door and slams his lips to mine.
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My Queenie. The girl who has been under my nose my whole life.
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don’t want to jump into the deep end here. You’re my best friend.” “Okay,” she says hesitantly. “You know I’m not fragile, right?” I smirk at her response. I know she isn’t. She’s the strongest person I know. “You might not be, but maybe I am.”
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His tattooed arm drapes over my waist, encasing me below two dice etched on his skin and above is my favorite one, the half royal flush of cards that I so desperately want to run my fingers across.
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swipe my hair from my face, open my eyes, and take in the muscled, bare-chested, insanely hot football player hovering above me with the darkest eyes devouring every inch of me. I’m not ashamed as I do the same to him. My eyes snag on each and every piece of ink on show, the rose and vines that start at his strong throat, to the compass near his left pec, all the way down to the trail of dark hair between his muscled V-shape hips. The masterpiece of him is overwhelming.
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“So, can I ask you something?” “Oh, shit.” Glancing at me with an odd expression, he sits up straighter, dropping his phone to his lap. “Is this like a bro-to-bro thing? Are you… Do you need advice?” I run my hand down my face. “Yeah, I need advice.” I then pin him with a stern stare, pointing my finger at his face. “But you dare tell a soul, and I will end you.” “You are coming to me for advice!” he yelps, practically jumping from the couch. “Oh my god, fuck. This never happens. Well, I’m your guy, the best man for the job.” He brushes his hair from his face and looks at me with a dopey grin. ...more
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“I’d do anything for you. You’re my best friend.”
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“You’re my best friend too. You and Seb.” “Yeah, but you don’t wanna marry my stinky brother, right?” He shakes his head. “I think I’m supposed to buy you a ring, instead of you buying me one,”
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“Because you make my heart beep real loud.” “I do?” he asks, looking at me strangely. “Yeah.” “You’re weird.”
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“I didn’t want him touching you. I didn’t want him near you. I definitely didn’t want him thinking he could have you.”
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“You think I want another guy touching my girl?”
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“Ride my leg, Queenie. Show me how much you need it.”
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