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no self-respecting aristocrat actually believed there was anything beyond their personal control.
God, what fun it was to be such a profound disappointment!
A Brief Note from God
Thayer Wren had raised a trio of sad, underperforming adults who’d peaked too soon.
Thayer’s legacy was compromised by the trials of his own desire to be seen, a cautionary tale about the narcissism of a man self-consciously bereft of equals; who simply believed it when his yes-men told him he was singular, unmatched.
I’ve learned to expect the least out of the people I thought the highest
what happens when a bright star—and the promise of the stars his own light produced—invariably burns out.
Everyone has an inevitability,
My end is written in me somewhere, and I’m going to dance until it implodes.
But the point is that Meredith had an obsession, and that obsession was rewriting the past into a version where she had the power to save her dead mother’s life, which would ultimately become a tool that could make you happy—an invention that Meredith called Chirp.
because in order to become as successful as she was, she had had to tell a lot of men to suck her dick in various ways,
Whatever extraordinariness Meredith was capable of, her life was more closely defined by what she couldn’t do—which
Like girlhood, ballet was art meant for consumption; it was virtuous because it was beautiful pain.
The fear that being gifted only matters if you, yourself, are the right gift.
A penis, in this economy?
“And by the way, I don’t love you because you’re a bad person. I love you, and you’re a person.
Baby, life fucks us all.
“No,” was nearly Jamie’s answer, “no, she doesn’t make me happy, when I’m with her I don’t even know what happiness is or what it means, it seems too small and unimaginative an idea, I’m not sure happiness was ever even real, I mean what is that? I was happy before her, now I’m something else, something sickly and weak and yet massive and esoteric, I am confounding and arcane, I am consumed by something ancient and universal and yet no one has ever felt the way I feel, I’m sick with it, I’m sick to death with it, I want to hold her forever, I want to crawl inside her heart and wear her skin!”
Life was loving someone on purpose! Intensity mattered!
