Our Infinite Fates

by Laura Steven

“Like the sway of the sea and the tug of the tides, love is a moving, eternal thing. Let us not be afraid of the wax and the wane, the rise and the fall, the eternal undertow. Each time our souls meet, let us submerge our bodies in the bright blue cold, and let the waves make us anew.” A tear slid down the apple of her cheek. “I love you, and I have loved you, and I will love you.”

thought of my own preemptive grief, the way I doggedly rehearsed loss as though it somehow protected me from the inevitable pain,

better or worse, I always let myself love anyway. Call it courage, call it insanity; both would be correct.

They love softly, and fiercely, and openly, and it’s the bravest thing I know. The most human thing I know.”

There’s a … texture? A richness? To your heart. It fascinates me. I want to peel back the layers until I find your center.”

“But that victory felt no different from curling up in an old armchair with a faded blanket and reading my little sister a bedtime story. It felt no different from a perfect pot of coffee, or a warm croissant fresh from the bakery. And so even when there’s no big joy—even when it feels like we’ll never leave this trench alive—there’s still the small joy. A sunset, a flask of tea. Your hand in mine.”

thought I was supposed to be the poet.” A sigh, long and low. “Though, without you, there would be no poetry. I would have only the harsh lens of my own worldview. I wouldn’t be able to see the beauty of life, because I only see it through your eyes. Muse is too simple a word for what you are to me.”

Ya’aburnee was a favourite. It means ‘may you bury me.’ It’s the idea that one person in a pairing longs to die before the other, because living without them would be too excruciating.