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All I wanted was Natty in my arms again. I’d waited long enough; Natty belonged to me, and even if this ended in both our lives being forfeited, at least in the end, she’d be buried with me. Safely cradled in my arms.
The way I was enraptured by the glow of her love. Something I never once deserved but claimed just the same.
“Finding her is the best way I can care for myself.”
“Because you have me, I’ll be your hope. I’ll be your sun, your moon and anything else good in this world. Give me your dark and I’ll hand you all my light.”
I let Natty take my hurt, my demons, and I trusted that she was bright enough to keep them all at bay.
“You learn from him, Son. You train, and you tuck away every single piece into your brain, you turn it into a weapon…” “And then?” My voice came out weak and I hated myself for it. She gave me a sad smile. “And then you kill him.”
I could never do it, never love something so much only to watch it leave me. If I were there when Natty left, there would have been a war. I’d likely have lost my life because there was no world in which I could watch her walk out of mine.
“You’re already in here.” His palm covered his heart. “Half of you at least…you’ve got the other half of mine in there.” He pointed at my chest. “Not like they’d want me to give half the effort when a simple solution would be to go as one whole.”
“You’re the closest I’ll ever get to heaven, to redemption or being found worthy. I look at you, and I see hope. Isn’t that all heaven is? Hope, eternity spent in the one place we can’t imagine living without? You’re that for me. You’re my religion, Natty. My place of worship and devotion. God wants nothing to do with me, but for some reason he still gave me you.”
“Forever, Caelum. I’ll want you for that long, and then longer when the devil demands my soul.” She kissed my chest. “He can’t have what belongs to me.”
“Anything happens to you, Caelum, and my brain won’t matter. Nor my heart, or anything else that allows me to breathe. It’s you or it’s nothing, my love.”
“It’s what’s under the ink, that’s ours, Caelum. The blood in our veins, the way our souls curl into each other, finding solace. You’re my home.”
“Tu meus es sol, luna mea. Vitam meam. Revertar ad te.” You are my sun, my moon. My life. I will come back for you.
“If anything happens to you, I’ll burn it down.” I tilted my head. “Burn what down?” His unsettling light eyes arrested me, holding the very air in my lungs hostage as he said with all seriousness that I knew was within him. “Every last thing that makes up this world. The clubs, the people. The towns. I don’t care. I’ll take it. There’s a dragon somewhere curled in this heart of mine, and it’s greedy for you, Natty. Obsessed, insane and absolutely feral to keep you safe.”
“I’d die a thousand times over if it meant I could keep you safe. My life is not worth living without you in it, Caelum. You’ve been my forever since my life started. If you were to end, then I would too. The fact that you didn’t realize that…it kills me.”
