The Favorites

by Layne Fargo

We used to joke they were going to die in each other’s arms or kill each other with their bare hands. Nothing in between.

Nicole Bradford: I’ll admit it, I was extremely skeptical. Until I saw them skate together.

Everyone thinks Heath Rocha was my first love. He wasn’t. My first love was figure skating.

I became a skater because I wanted to feel like that. Fierce. Confident. A warrior goddess covered in glitter. So sure of myself, I could make my dreams come true through sheer force of will.

I told myself, staring into the shadows beyond my bedroom window, Heath and I would be free of this place. And no matter what, we would be together.

The name Rocha was Spanish in origin, or maybe Portuguese—the

Layne Fargo did advise that his last name is Portuguese

Ellis Dean: Imagine being down so bad you’d master a whole Olympic sport to spend time with someone.

That was the first night we shared a bed. And ever since, I’d had trouble falling asleep without his arms around me. Heath Rocha was there for me when no one else was.

Garrett Lin: The thing is, when pushing your limits is all you know, when it seems normal to you…it’s hard to remember you even have limits. Until you run right into them.

Producer (Offscreen): What about your decision regarding th— Jane Currer: Next question, please.

What does this mean????

“You can always be better. But don’t let that stop you from carrying yourself like a champion. If you don’t believe you’re the best, no one else will either. You understand?”

I gave Heath a sharp look, and he stopped in the doorway, the truck’s red hazard lights flashing behind him. Sheila didn’t seem to notice.

She’s definitely embarrassed by him when it comes to her career

“Trust me,” Heath said. “I’ve noticed how nice Garrett Lin is to you.”

Someone is jealous

“You want to win on the ice, you have to win here first.”

I didn’t want to believe him. I thought my talent and hard work would be enough. That’s how young and foolish I was.

“Yes, really.” She lifted her chin. “I’m the one who asked my mother to invite you.”

I wasnt expecting that

Garrett Lin: Until…well, we’ll get to that, I suppose.

What?!?

I loved Heath Rocha before I knew what love was.

“The account balance is zero.

Yup… knew it

“The primary account holder,” the teller told me. “Leland Shaw.”

Of course

Heath wouldn’t like this. But Heath didn’t have to know—about the modeling job, the missing inheritance money, any of it. I’d take care of everything myself, and we would keep going, on to the next gold medal.

This is going to end badly

Ellis Dean: No, it was all about Lin and Lin versus Shaw and Rocha. And that competition did turn into quite a showdown. Just not in the way any of us anticipated.

What does it mean?!?!?

“Heath, please. We’ve made it this far. This is our dream, our—”

“No, Katarina.” He sighed and slipped his hand into mine. “It’s your dream.”

I mean he’s not wrong

Heath didn’t love skating. He loved me.

And if Heath wanted to see me again? He could watch me on television, winning goddamn gold medals with Garrett Lin.

Damn.. lowkey kinda cold but I get it

How many times over the past three years had I worked myself up with the worry that Heath would appear in the stands at a competition?

Damn!! Three years?!??

I’m world champion was my first dazed thought. My second was: Bella is going to hate me.

Heath hadn’t come back for me. He’d come back for her.

shut up!!!! Are you kidding me?!

His love for me hadn’t been motivation enough to reach his full potential. His hatred, though? That made him capable of anything.

wooooow

But Heath didn’t slump over. He didn’t go still. He cradled Bella’s face in his hands, smoothing her hair back. Then he pressed his lips to hers.

Ugh my heart aches for Kat

Heath kissed her to hurt me. To twist the knife. That was the only explanation.

Ellis Dean: I’m glad the sport is catching up with the times. Then again, I wouldn’t be where I am today without the pathetic self-loathing of my elders. It’s like I always say: suck a man’s dick, and he’ll be satisfied for a night. Let him suck your dick in a hotel suite at the World Championships of Figure Skating? Then you’ll have blackmail material to last a lifetime.

Two thousand and six, the year of the Torino Olympics. The year all my dreams would come true. The year I would make Heath Rocha regret everything.

Ellis Dean: Karma’s a bitch, and so is Isabella Lin. She thought she was going to take out her competition, and instead she fucked herself out of the Olympic Games and out of a partner.

Yesssss I love Ellis’ energy!!!!

They didn’t simply want us to be lovers—they wanted us to be so in love, we’d burn the whole world down to be together.

Garrett Lin: I don’t feel right repeating it. Given what happened next, though…I think you can probably guess the sentiment.

Omg!!! Stop keeping me in suspense

“Please, Katarina. You have to know it was all for you. I did it all for you, to—” He blinked back tears, but it was too late, his eye makeup was already blurring. “Please. I love you. I never stopped loving you, not for one second.”

Crying

“All you care about is winning.” Heath spoke calmly, evenly, like he was trying to gentle a wild animal. “So I turned myself into someone who could win. Someone worthy of you. But I guess that wasn’t enough either. Nothing’s ever enough for you.”

Damn… my heart

“And yeah, okay, Heath did some screwed-up things. But he loves you so much. The way you two torture each other, it’s…” Garrett trailed off with an exasperated shake of his head. “Do you know what I’d give for even a taste of what you’ve got together?”

Its toxic

“Oh my god, Garrett, no one cares that you’re gay!”

God shes such a bitch for that

Much as I hated to admit it, Ellis was right: Heath and I drove each other crazy sometimes, but I hated to imagine any version of my future that didn’t somehow include him. I couldn’t let him go without at least telling him so.

Heath was in bed all right. But he wasn’t alone.

im sorry… what?!

Garrett Lin: That was the last time any of us saw Kat Shaw for years.

holy crap

It was who I’d become, after a lifetime spent striving to be just like Sheila Lin. Like her, I’d discarded my past, my home, my family. I’d convinced myself if I became the best, it didn’t matter who I hurt, because in the end, it would be worth it. Even if I hurt myself most of all.

I didn’t want to be Katarina Shaw either. I wanted to disappear.

I needn’t have worried. Heath didn’t notice me, and he sat in the front. Right beside Bella.

Sooo they stayed together ???

“Sheila Lin wasn’t perfect,” Katarina says. “But she was a champion.”

cleaned out my brother’s room and finally let myself cry about his death—and his life—gasping in dust and stale smoke until my lungs burned.

And yes, I’ll admit it: I missed Heath. I missed him the way a soldier misses a severed limb. Seeing him with Bella had hurt, but it was nothing compared to the phantom pain of his absence.