There's Something About Mira

by Sonali Dev

His lips press together. He takes a step away from me and raises a finger, pointing at my face, then at his heart. He opens his mouth but struggles with words. “That. How you just felt. That’s how I feel every time you say his name. There’s no one else in my life.” Relief floods through me. He isn’t with anyone else. Then anger so violent I want to explode with it. Then shame. I’m getting married in a few months. He’s breathing hard, seeing right through me. Why would he do this to me? His hand goes to his temples and squeezes. “When we first met, you were right about me. All through my childhood I learned not to show my discomfort when I didn’t fit. Because I’ve never fit. Not until now. For the first time in my life, I fit. I fit in my skin, in this world, in my own discomfort. I’m not a stranger when you’re with me, Mira. And I’ve been a stranger to myself all my life.” The silence that follows his words rings in my ears. “Why are you telling me this now?” “Because it wouldn’t be fair for me to not say it before we get on that plane.” “Krish, I can’t just flip my entire life over.” For one second the words Why not? burn in his eyes. He knows why not, just as much as I do. “I don’t ever want you to do anything that feels like it’s flipping your life over.” I hate how articulate he is. How he doesn’t just throw words out without choosing each one carefully. Even more than that, I hate how much those words pierce me. The gate agent calls boarding numbers over the PA system...