There's Something About Mira

by Sonali Dev

Most important: I am never ever to forget how very lucky I am to have bagged Dr. Druv Kalra, MD, or how critical an orthopedic surgeon’s commitments are. I don’t disagree. I’m proud of how wholeheartedly Druv gives himself to his work.

I’m not someone given to wanting. Wanting things always leads to hurt. I’ve avoided it with all I’m worth my entire adult life. Now it grips me, fills me from the tips of my toes to the crown of my head. I want to know where the ring came from. I have to know.

No one says exotic anymore, but it’s what I got called all the time back in school, even by my teachers. I didn’t know any of the baggage the word came with until much later, but even back then I knew something was off about it, a stamp pressed into my skin that marked me as different in a seemingly desirable way that didn’t feel desirable at all.

I know I’ve violated some sort of boundary again. But when you’ve known someone for all of one day and they feel like the only friend you’ve ever had, boundaries feel fuzzy.

There’s always been something about you, Mira.

All my life I’ve lived with a feeling of being pushed into a corner. Now I feel like someone is hammering me into it. I know it isn’t fair.

“It is hard to do the thing you want when you’ve been taught that doing what others want means loving them. But you came here to find me. You do know how to do what you want.”

“When you’re true to yourself, even when something hurts, it feels good. When you’re betraying yourself, even when something is supposed to feel good, it hurts.”