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he’s serious as it gets when he says he needs me like his next breath.
When I get back to bed, I lay next to Addison, a place I’ve become addicted to being over the last few weeks. There’s no denying it, I don’t want to be anywhere else but right here. I don’t roll to her, I don’t let myself bury my face in her hair, touch her, giving myself what I want, what I’ve fucking earned.
Now that I have her, I wouldn’t want her any other way. Especially since she gives it all over to me when I want it. In bed, her barrel room, my desk, and just this morning, her kitchen. The possibilities are endless. Obsessed might be a strong word, but if this isn’t an obsession, it’s gotta be something more. I’ve barely come to terms with being obsessed, anything more is too much to comprehend right now. Whatever “normal” we’ve created—given both our fucked-up pasts—seems to work, so I’m going with it.
Her secret smile mirrors the obsession I can’t get out of my head. It’s one only lovers share, reminding me she takes it any way I wanna give it to her, that she’s sucked my dick, ridden my face—even both at the same time—wanting everything I give her.
When she leans to put her lips to mine, it’s soft and barely there, but fuck if it isn’t the most intimate touch I’ve ever had, ending centuries too soon.
Certain moments in life become etched in your soul. For me, I have merely a handful. Buried deep, they’re entwined, tangled, and even disheveled. Living together forever, they create who we are and how we see the world. More so, how we react to it, even live within it.
“Never once had a homecoming. Never had a home to come to. I thought I was traveling, seeing the world between jobs, but I wasn’t. I was wandering with nowhere to go.”
“Never had to work so hard to focus. Ever. Thought of you every single second. I had to fight myself to stay centered for Grady and so I could come back to you.”
When she rolled into me this morning, burying herself so close she would’ve crawled under my skin if she could’ve, I couldn’t wait another second. I needed her again. I’ll always need her.
“Move away from death with me. Let’s live.”
