Matchmaker (Empire High, #4)

by Ivy Smoak

But I didn’t want that. I would never get married. And I’d never have kids. I’d given up on that dream when I buried the love of my life.

When I was in the hall my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw the name flash across my screen. Mr. Pruitt. My blood ran cold. Why the hell wouldn’t he leave me alone? I clicked out of the text without reading it. I knew exactly what it would say. He sent me the same text every few months for years. Telling me we needed to talk. That it was important.

“And I do see it. The similarities between Penny and Brooklyn. I get it. But Penny isn’t Brooklyn.”

“Because you’re the only one back in high school that seemed to realize that I had a problem. I think I’m the only one that sees that you have one now.”

Because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could breathe when the past felt so damn heavy. The weight of it on my chest felt stifling. At least, that’s what I told myself. Because the fact that I was slowly dying of a broken heart somehow felt worse.

“It feels like you’re disappearing on me. And I don’t know how to live without you.”

“I don’t want to do this without you anymore. I feel guilty all the time. I feel like fucking shit every day, Brooklyn.”

“I miss her too,” Kennedy said. “You expect that hole to fill up with something, anything. But she left a damn big hole.”

“You can’t just go through the rest of your life missing her. Keeping her a secret from one of your good friends? Pretending she didn’t exist, yet letting her death dictate everything you do? Matt, that’s not living.”

“You’ll regret kissing me in the morning.” “Who said I was going to kiss you?” She laughed. “Matt…” I grabbed the side of her face. “Fine. Yeah, I’m going to kiss you.”

But I needed to forgive myself too. If I had any chance of giving Kennedy a life she deserved, I needed to let this go. It was time. Past time, really. Besides, I’d made Mrs. Alcaraz a new promise. And promises to the living were more important than promises to the dead. They had to be. Because I couldn’t keep going like this. I took a deep breath.

“He’ll love you differently. The way you need to be loved. Different isn’t less.”

I wanted to be able to push him away. I did. But my body had a mind of its own. There were suddenly butterflies in my stomach instead of that twisting guilt. And my pulse was racing. I couldn’t turn him away even if I wanted to. Maybe Tanner was right. Maybe Matt and I were always supposed to be together. It was just a long, hard route to get there. But sometimes the hardest loves were the everlasting ones. The real ones.