He really didn’t want to keep going, but he was doing this, in part, to atone. If a member of the faith had come to him for spiritual guidance in this matter, he would have advised them to talk to the injured party and to unburden themself. There was a cost to that, because to do it properly meant to lay himself bare. Forgiveness would come or it would not, but, as Farhang had said, this was the reckoning he deserved.
