Between the Devil and the Sea

by Chani Lynn Feener

“Is it always that bad?” Axel risked asking Shade, keeping his voice down as if that would somehow help to not offend him. “It’s because I’m recently off blockers,” he explained, knowing exactly why that officer was referring to. He’d noticed Shade was in pain every time he looked at someone.

“I apologize. That’s not fair of me.” “Being fair is overrated.” The corner of Apollo’s mouth tipped up.

“I was put in the system at a young age, so my status as a Chitta was pretty public knowledge at the orphanage. That made my options for advancement limited.” It’d also made adoption impossible. No one had wanted him and he’d been forced to watch time after time as he was passed over for one of the other normal kids. Even those who’d almost aged out of the system were chosen over him.

Unfortunately, the past was a lot easier to let go of in theory than in reality.

“I was abandoned,” he admitted. Apollo didn’t apologize like most people would, or even give condolences like Shade had. He merely stared at him beneath hooded lashes for a stretch of silence before drawling in that honey-toned voice of his, “Aren’t we the pair, Detective?”

He wondered what a nice and friendly guy like Apollo would say if he heard any of this. Most likely he’d think there was something wrong with Shade. Shade certainly believed there was something wrong with himself.

It wasn’t the confidence in the other man’s strides that drew him though. It was the way he was barely holding himself together beneath that unapproachable demeanor. The strain in his muscles and the wincing whenever he thought no one was looking gave him away.

Locking gazes with the detective hadn’t been on the agenda. Being unable to get the other man off his mind definitely hadn’t been. True, he wouldn’t mind taking the detective apart, but it was more than that. There was something about those eyes, hazel and wide, so that they stood out on the detective’s perfectly proportioned face. His hair was the shade of mahogany, shiny and soft in appearance. He wanted to run his fingers through it.

“You’re flirting with me,” Shade said. “Picked up on that, did you?” “You shouldn’t.” Even if he liked it. Apollo tilted his head. “Why not?” “You’ll be wasting your time.” “What makes you say that? Is there someone else?” Apollo’s eyes seemed to darken in the next instant, though the easy smile never left his lips. “That partner of yours?” Had he mistaken the hint of jealousy just now?

“The only person’s eyes you’ve met in the past five minutes are mine,” Apollo stated, “and I can assure you, I’ve never felt remorseful a day in my life.”

Just before he was about to hit the ground, however, strong arms banded around him, catching him and holding him tight.

“Hold on, Detective,” that voice, rich and honeyed, drifted over him like a balm as he was half carried have dragged from the room, “I’ve got you. Hold on.” Miraculously, he was able to gulp in a breath, then another as he clung to Apollo’s arm, silently begging him to speak again.

“Keep,” he sucked in another breath, “talking.” Apollo cocked his head. “Does that help?”

“I’d much rather accept people as they really are.” “That’s how you end up surrounded by unmentionables.” “I said I’d accept them,” Shade corrected. “I didn’t say I’d stick around.” The corner of Apollo’s mouth twitched up, but it was different from any of the other smiles he’d given before. Almost imperceptible, somehow coming off private. “See, that’s the problem then. I want to keep you around.”

He had no idea when it stopped hurting, but one second he was clenching his teeth against the pain and the next his hand had reached back to cover Apollo’s ass and pull him in harder. Shade lifted his hips and pressed into every forward stroke, meeting him thrust for thrust.

“I’m trying not to be vocal so I don’t scare you away,” Apollo said, sucking on the side of Shade’s neck before licking the mark he’d no doubt left behind. “But you feel amazing around me and you’re so responsive, you’re making it really hard to hold back.”

This was holding back? “You’re literally taking me against a wall right now,” Shade managed to say, a chuckle dying on his lips when Apollo plunged into him with even more force. “There you go, purr for me. This is nothing. I can think of a few dozen things I’d like to do to you.” “So do them...

“I just fucked you on a roof, Detective,” he stated bluntly, causing a shiver to race up Shade’s spine. “And you loved every second of it. Clearly modesty is overrated.”

Apollo was gorgeous, sexy, fun and flirty and somehow managed to put Shade at ease, but that was also part of the problem. He was a good guy. He didn’t deserve to get saddled with someone like Shade, who couldn’t stand being in a crowd for longer than a half hour without complaining about head pain. Who didn’t even know the difference between his own anger and the person’s twenty feet away half the time.

Perhaps Apollo had taken the hint and given up. If that made Shade feel a little disappointed? Well, it was his own damn fault, and, really, it was what he wanted, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it? With a low growl, he forced himself to his feet and headed for the bedroom he’d been occupying.

Shade Yor hated what he was, not the fact that he was a Chitta, the fact that he was a broken one.

“You’re hitting on me.” “Yup.” “But also interrogating me.” “Correct again.”

“I should have gotten bored a long time ago. Instead, I find myself thinking about you constantly. Wondering what you’re doing, who you’re with, if that panicked look in your eyes, the one you had when you ran into that crowded room, is back or not.

Come on. Is that what it is this time? Do you think the reporter’s hair is pretty?” Yes. It was so black and shiny, like spilled ink.

If he closed his eyes, he could almost picture the way Shadow had trembled against him, his shoulders quaking as he desperately fought against his own desires. It’d been cute, but the appeal had lost its luster and both Apollo and his neglected dick were no longer amused by the other man’s mulishness.

Unlike the detective, Apollo didn’t fight against his own urges. Going to war with himself was a losing battle, one he’d long since realized wasn’t worth the time or the energy.

this little obsession he’d developed was admittedly no longer little, and his plans for Shadow had practically consumed his every waking moment. It was different.

For some reason, Apollo didn’t like the idea of Shadow playing with other people’s monsters. He wanted all of his focus, all of his attention. He didn’t want to share anymore.

He didn’t like the idea of not having Shade’s full, undivided attention. Sharing? Wasn’t in his vocabulary.

Bruises were already forming around his long neck, purple and blue blotches in the shape of Maxen’s fingers. Another man’s fingers. Apollo squeezed the top of the door hard enough the metal protested.

Apollo wore his mask to keep himself safe, whereas Shade was slowly killing himself with his. Suffocating himself.

Apollo was going to become his everything. He’d fix Shadow Yor, take him apart, figure out how the pieces went back together properly, and make him whole again. And then he’d slice that beautiful neck and watch as the life drained from those pretty hazel-colored eyes and get back to his regularly scheduled program.

“It appears that I’m a little bit obsessed with you, Detective.” He was so fucked up because those words actually had a rush of relief coursing through him. Relief. Here he was, chained to a damn wall with a criminal before him, and he was relieved? Because at least that meant he’d really been wanted. Even if it’d been brief and by a monster.

Apollo closed his eyes and let out a soft sound that came really close to satisfaction. “I could do without the disgust from you,” he said, “but the fear…Keep that coming. I like it.”

“I don’t have a preference myself, so we’ll avoid the degradation kink and focus on praise, sound good?”

It took all his strength to force himself to look down and see the horrendous truth for himself. He’d just been choked to the point of nearly losing consciousness by a proclaimed serial killer who’d threatened to snip off his dick with garden shears less than five minutes ago. And yet, Shade was hard.

In due time, I’ll have it so your dick is rising and ready at the sound of my footsteps approaching. I won’t even have to touch you to get you to weep for me just,” he rolled the pad of his thumb across the silky head, “like this.”

Apollo remained silent, which only made Shade more nervous because the man was incredibly fond of the sound of his own voice and seemed to never miss an opportunity to hear it.

“Why am I doing this?” Apollo said. “What makes you different?” He tapped his heart “This. This foreign feeling I’ve never felt before. That’s what drove me to follow you to your hotel the day you arrived on planet, and what had me befriending you. What made me change my plans and fuck you on the roof instead of throw you over it like I should have.”

“Obsession,” he announced, and his voice seemed to crack against the stone walls ominously. “I’m infatuated by you. Have been from the start. The moment you stepped out of that taxi your fate was already sealed, Detective.”

He couldn’t get his arm to move, too entranced by the possessive gleam in Apollo’s dark blue eyes. It was almost as if he was hypnotized. He couldn’t look away.

The detective was his, and he wasn’t too afraid to acknowledge that maybe a sick part of himself was also becoming the detective’s as well.

I didn’t want this any more than you did.” “So put an end to it.” “And damage us both?” He clicked his tongue. “I don’t think so. The trauma you suffered being abandoned once was enough, don’t you agree?”

I don’t want life after, when it’s too late. I want life now.” “I’ll give it to you, baby,” Apollo found himself saying, the urge to make promises so fierce within him he couldn’t stop the words from flowing.

now he needed a way to break through that stubborn self-loathing. He needed the other man to be open to his own wants and needs without second guessing whether they were real or valid. It was the only way he was going to be able to keep him, at least, the only way he could keep him and keep him whole.

“Why should I care what the likes of him thinks of me?” He tugged on Apollo until the other man turned back to meet his gaze once more. “What do you think of me?” “You’re perfect, baby.” Apollo gave his back to Gunther, cupping Shade’s face and resting his forehead on his. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

All this time he’d been so scared of rejection that it’d blinded him to the truth. He’d abandoned himself that same day his parents had. He’d turned his own back and he’d hated and loathed the person he was. He didn’t need anyone else to accept him. He needed to accept himself. Want himself.

They couldn’t have him. He belonged to Shade.