He Who Fights with Monsters 11 (He Who Fights with Monsters, #11)

by Shirtaloon

“I think it’ll be okay,” he said. “I don’t feel anythiaaaARGH!” He fell to the ground, twitching and groaning in the red desert sand. Humphrey leaned over him, looking down with concern. “Jason?” Jason let out a whimpering moan. “I went to the toilet on myself.”

Humans can be crappy, but they can also surprise you at how far they can go to do what’s right.”

“I appreciate your compassion for them. One of the reasons it was decided that I would come to Pallimustus and look into you was that you were not showing a lot of compassion by the time you left Earth. You were hurt. Angry. Reacting quickly and with definitive violence. The reasons were obvious enough. Loss. Emotional isolation from your support structure.”

“That I have to not just talk about trust but actually be trusting. The price of a mistake always seems so obvious in hindsight.”

“I remember it being bigger,” he said, finally breaking the silence. “Nothing stays the way it was, does it? Even if a place doesn’t change, it does to us because we change. Something that used to be so familiar feels the same, but also different enough to be uncanny. Like finding an old shirt that you loved growing up, one you wore until it had holes and then you kept wearing it anyway. But now it’s too small, like it belongs to someone else. Someone you used to be but aren’t anymore.”

Perspectives

“I concur with the girthy elf,” said Beaufort, leader of the Builder cultists. “There is no shortage of strange events centred on Asano, even in the short time I have known him.” “I am not girthy.”

This series will always be remembered for the "Girthy Elf"... "Stop calling me Girthy."

“Our ultimate objective,” Farrah said, “is to seize control of this transformation zone. We’re in an isolated world that Jason knew he would need to take over. And I can promise you that, in Jason’s mind, a volcano lair in the shape of your head is exactly how you start your plan to take over the world. The only thing missing is a…” She trailed off as her eyes went wide. She turned to look at Clive. “No,” she said. Clive let out the sigh of a man fresh from a losing battle. “I’m afraid so,” he told her. Jason sat back in his chair with a grin so wide, it looked like he was propping his mouth open with raw smugness. “I don’t suppose you’d like to share with the group?” Arabelle suggested. “To be clear,” Clive said, his expression screaming reluctance, “what we’re talking about is an integrated array on a geographic scope, with the power to manipulate the environment on a macro scale.” “Yeah,” Sophie muttered. “That cleared it right up.” “He means a weather machine!” Jason said as he shook his fist in triumph. “I do not mean a weather machine,” Clive said. “Calling it that is not an accurate representation of the underlying⁠—” “WEATHER MACHINE!” Jason yelled joyously over him. A fluffy white cat leapt into Jason’s lap and he started petting it. The cat had a bushy moustache. Clive sighed again.

OH. MY. FUQQING.GAWD. He went James Bond Villain again... What the actual Fuq?? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BT00WU7Iss

“The avatar destroyed the control centre in the lightning field,” Neil pointed out. “If we need every one of these areas to be connected, doesn’t that mean we’ve failed before we begin?” “That’s something we’ll need to figure out,” Jason said. “I have considered that point, and I have a plan. You don’t have to worry.” “I hate to break it to you, Jason,” Belinda said, “but you having a plan is when we worry the most.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC8qrH3Zwog

“I will accept frivolous and childish as valid, Tactical Commander, but not inconsequential. That was extremely important.” “How?” “Jason Asano is not a stable man. By the time I met him, he had already been through several profoundly traumatic experiences. He’d acquitted himself well, but no one goes through such things undamaged. It’s why they call in people like me,

“What happened with the avatar mattered,” Arabelle continued. “The thing that pulled Jason back to himself, that spoke the very core of who he was, was just as you said: frivolous and childish. It made those of us who know and care about him ecstatic.” “Why?” “Because it proved something that we’ve been hoping for ever since he came back to us. That he hadn’t been entirely lost. That, at his core, he’s still closer to the absurd man who arrived on our world the first time than the bloodthirsty maniac who arrived the second time.

“What we saw took something that we believed and showed us absolute proof that we were right. That the man he is now is fundamentally still the man we knew. The man who infuriates almost everyone, yet draws heroes to him like flies. Who will take a good sandwich over a great treasure. A man who throws barbecues where diamond-rankers sit and eat with everyday people because he believes that they are worth the same. Believes it with such an unconscious conviction that, if only for a little while, they believe it too.” “That’s nonsense.” “Yes! Utter nonsense! That’s who he is: the man who does the nonsensical and makes the world accept it through sheer force of will. The man who helps people for no more reason than they need help. Even if they’re messengers. Even if it kills him. And now we have proof of that.”

On becoming an outworlder on Earth, Farrah gained the power to form bonds of trust, allowing her to copy knowledge from another person like a skill book. It had allowed her to rapidly learn about Earth from Jason, including a lot of information she wished she hadn’t. However useful a qualitative comparison of different Voltrons might have recently proven, there were things in her memory now she never wanted and rarely admitted to possessing.

“You should listen to the nice lady, bro,” Taika said. “Why are you here exactly?” Jason asked him. “Rude,” Taika said. “I wanted to see what it looks like from underneath when the lightning hits that shield.” They all looked up as a fresh lightning bolt struck the shield, electricity dancing across it in a brilliant display. “Okay, that does look awesome,” Nik said. “I’m so glad about that,” Ramona said. “CAN YOU PLEASE DO YOUR ACTUAL JOBS?” “I like her,” Taika said as Jason got to work. He plucked the shrunken cloud flask from his necklace and it returned to normal size. He set it on the dashboard in front of himself and Nik, sitting next to him, and removed the stopper. Wisps of cloud snaked out to form three small shapes: a mansion, a bus and a palace.

“I think I’m feeling it,” Nik said. “It’s weird, like remembering something I forgot years ago.” “You’re only a few months old, bro,” Taika said, still looking up at the dome. “Shut up,” Clive told him in a sing-song voice, trying not to sound upset and interrupt Nik. “Sorry, bro.”

“You realise that round is more practical?” Clive asked as he moved out. His platform turned back into Shade and he landed in the black mud with a squelch. “Apologies, Mr Standish. Please give me a moment to assume a more practical configuration.” “Ah, no thank you,” Clive said wisely. “I’ll just walk.”

“I guess you were right,” Jason said. “Of course I was,” Farrah said. “About what?” “In being confident that this was going to work.” “Oh, that was a lie. Do have any idea how many academically unsound shortcuts we’ve taken over the course of this project? Half-tested hypotheses are the least of it. Half of the stuff I’m putting together I’ve taken from Clive using a questionable mind-reading power. These rituals we’re using to link the control nodes are built as much on guesswork and hope as sound theory. The fact that we haven’t made one of the Magic Society guys straight-up explode is a minor miracle.” “Uh, Farrah mate,” Jason said. “Yeah?” “We don’t have a privacy screen up.” Farrah looked around and saw everyone else looking back. Nik at the base of the mesa and the Magic Society researchers under a nearby lightning tower looked especially unhappy. “Huh,” Farrah said. “The thunder muffles sound less than you’d think, doesn’t it?”

“You know what these things are?” Gabriel asked the messenger. “Indeed, I do, Lucky Husband.” “Stop calling me that.” “Oh, you don’t think you were lucky in marriage? My dearest Mrs Remore, I’m afraid your husband’s opinion of you is not as high as I’d hoped. If you and I⁠—” “I wonder how long messenger wings take to grow back,” Arabelle casually mused. “I’m just going to go over there,” Boris said and floated away. “That’s right,” Gabriel called out after him. “You keep walking. Or hovering or whatever.” “Gabriel?” Arabelle asked sweetly, her distracted spouse missing the warning sign. “Yes, dear?” “Do you really not feel like a lucky husband?” Gabriel blinked, then blinked again, his face blank. “I hate that guy so much.”

Shut it, Gabe...

Rage cared little for logic.

“I’m sorry I haven’t had more time to give you these last few days. Bloody messengers. Should have left them to their fate.” “No, you shouldn’t. But you already know that.” “I thought you hated all the messengers.” “In my situation, I don’t see much point to hatred anymore.” Jason bumped his head against Gary’s arm again. “You really are the best of us. I’m sorry I couldn’t wrangle better circumstances for you. You deserve better.” “Since when did deserve ever matter? I don’t want to hear any self-recrimination, Jason. You don’t get to take my sacrifice and turn it into your failure. If it weren’t for you, I’d have died in a hole years ago and no one would have known. You gave me these years and they’ve been pretty damn good ones. However this ends up going, always remember that.” Jason wiped the moisture gathering in his eyes. “I love you, you big hairy sod.” “Of course you do. I’m amazing.” Jason burst out laughing.

“This is a huge tree, bro. That trunk has to be a mile across.” “A mile?” Emir asked. “Sorry,” Taika said. “A bit over a kilometre and a half. It’s weird that an alternate reality has the metric system and the Americans still can’t figure it out.”

“We probably shouldn’t tell the real elves about rule thirty-four,” Taika said. “I’m pretty sure they feature heavily.” “You’re pretty sure, are you?” Jason teased. “I’m not ashamed,” Taika said. “I’d say I like sexy elf cosplay as much as the next bloke, but the next bloke is Travis and that guy is anime-body-pillow lonely. Good thing he’s still in Rimaros because he’s bad enough around celestines. If he went to an elf city like Yaresh, I think he’d stroke out.” Jason looked at Taika from under raised eyebrows. “Not like that,” Taika said. “Okay, probably like that, but it’s not what I meant.”

“Humphrey’s cooldown and mana management is perfect,” Rufus said. “And I mean perfect. People always get better with experience, but he was better than most silvers at iron-rank. Now...? His mother built that boy up from the ground. I’d put money down on her planning the mana recovery gear he’s wearing now before he learned to walk. Probably before the church of Fertility cracked him out of the vat. If you haven’t seen thousands of adventurers at all ranks, and aren’t looking for it, you’ll probably never notice, but Humphrey Geller is the most skilled person on our team.” “Really?” Taika asked. “More than Sophie? More than you?” “Yes,” Rufus said. “Humphrey isn’t just working around his own limitations and gear. He adapts in the moment to every tweak to his mana recovery and cooldown times. If he’s in range of Clive and Belinda’s auras. What buffs and debuffs are on him. How many potions he has, and how long until he can drink another.” “He’s thinking about that the whole time?” Taika asked. “While also directing us in combat?” “Yes,” Rufus said. “And he keeps his cool so emotional decisions don’t throw him off. It’s how he stays in the fight while Miss Lava Cannon here stops to rest faster than you can say ‘mana efficiency.’”

“Which has people wondering why Danielle Geller pushed her son into one of the most commonplace, bread-and-butter roles in adventuring,” Farrah said. “Yes,” Rufus agreed. “What they don’t realise is that what she’s done is take one of the most useful-but-basic roles in adventuring and create the greatest version of it that there is.” “Like how really good bread and really good butter is simple but also fantastic,” Taika said. “Exactly,” Rufus said. “Like any brawler, Humphrey hits harder and survives more than most adventurers. The trade-off is endurance, which is why you two are back here resting, but Humphrey doesn’t stop. He has less explosive power than either of you, certainly, but he’s always out there, always putting on pressure. Farrah, you are the best there is at intervening in critical moments. He intervenes at every moment, not just the critical ones. Not as much as you, but he’s always there; a perpetual influence. Next time you’re outside, look at the impact he has. Not just on the fight he’s in, but the whole battle. The way it moves around him like water shifting course around a rock.” “But isn’t that kind of bad for typical adventuring?” Taika asked. “An adventuring contract is go out, kill maybe three things and go home. Farrah is way better for that.” “Yes,” Rufus agreed. “It’s almost like his mother wasn’t training him for typical adventuring.” “Oh,” Taika said, realisation in his voice. “She was building him for some weird Jason stuff,” Farrah said. “L...

“Is that special glass?” Miriam asked. “No. Just regular glass.” “So, it’s not something magical that can only be broken by that hammer?” “No, it’s a regular mallet.” He brought the mallet down and smashed the glass, exposing the big red button inside. “You could have done that with your hand. Regular glass can’t cut you.” Jason ignored her and held his hand over the button, quivering slightly as a serious expression crossed his face. “You need to get on with whatever this is,” Miriam said. “Don’t make me go get Farrah.” Jason brought his hand down on the button. A monotone voice started echoing throughout the mountain lair, tinny as if speaking through a mediocre PA system. “Self-destruct has been initiated. The mountain will be destroyed in fifteen minutes.” “What did you just do?” Miriam asked. “That should get everyone out,” Jason said. “That button destroys the mountain?” “You said you needed to get the stragglers moving.” “Why was that in an unlocked drawer while you kept a small hammer behind all that ridiculous security?” Jason looked from the button to the open safe. “You know, it occurs to me that I could have set that up more efficiently.” Miriam ran her hands over her face. “You’re doing this now? NOW?” “Yep.” “THIS IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE TIME!” “Self-destruct has been initiated,” the monotone voice repeated. “The mountain will be destroyed in fourteen minutes and thirty seconds.”

The stairs ended in a short tunnel that terminated in a large iron door. It swung open, giving them access to a catwalk set into the side of a massive natural cavern. A lake of magma making up the floor of the chamber washed everything in red light. Hanging from the ceiling were a bunch of cages at the end of chains, dangling over the magma. “Who is that?” Miriam asked, looking at the solitary occupied cage. A man in a suit was attempting to cut the lock using a wrist laser. “Don’t worry about him,” Jason said.

“How are we going to get to the tree in a submarine?” Miriam asked as they walked along the dock towards the others. “And why not just portal?” “Portals are a little wonky right now.” “Up until I came to see you, I was supervising portalling everyone to the tree with no issues whatsoever.” “That’s weird. Anyway, it turns out that there’s a network of massive underwater tunnels running beneath the entire transformation zone. It’s definitely been there the whole time and wasn’t created by me a couple of hours ago.” Miriam sighed. “If you don’t mind, Operations Commander, I’m going to go back up and finalise overseeing the departure to the centre of the zone.” “Sure,” Jason said, then turned and pointed. “That elevator there will take you right up to my office in about twenty seconds.” “Self-destruct has been initiated. The mountain will be destroyed in nine minutes.” Miriam levelled a glare at Jason who met it with an impish grin. She sighed again. “Is there anything else before I go, Operations Commander?” Jason turned to look at his friends. “No,” he said. “I have everything I need.”

“Oh, look: mine’s finished,” he said. “I’m going to go in and poke around. How is it that mine is bigger, yet yours takes longer to finish?” Jason nodded sagely. “You did finish first,” he acknowledged. “Constance said you like to do that. Poor woman.” “Wait, what did my wife say?” “Oh, look,” Jason said. “Mine just finished. I’m going to go inside and poke around.” Jason floated toward his cloud building, Emir following after. “Hey! You have to tell me what my wife said!”

“I don’t think we’re ready for that.” “It’s been my experience that the world doesn’t care if you’re ready.

“That’s not how it works,” Boris said. “That’s why it’s called a workaround,” Jason said. “Don’t worry, I have a plan.” “It had better be an impressive plan,” Boris said. “It is,” Jason assured him. As Jason was giving his confident assurances, Boris’ eyes were on Clive, who stood behind Jason, shaking his head.

Oh..... Chit.....

“It’s more like a big brown egg,” Boris said. “The idea,” Belinda told Gary, “is that someone with a gestalt body/soul combination like a messenger or Jason—or you, I suppose—can create a kind of bubble with their aura when they move through the astral. They basically turn their aura into a dimension ship for one passenger.” “Two, if they’re good enough,” Boris corrected. “It requires constant adjustment of the aura to dimensional forces experienced during travel.”

Mork from Ork...

“What I can hopefully help you with,” Danielle continued, “are the partings that, while long, are not forever. You will all learn, in time, that temporary parting is a natural and healthy aspect of relationships that run into the decades and centuries. My husband and I are together and apart as we need. It does not diminish our love for one another. We adventured together. Raised our children together. When our children made their own ways in the world, so did we. Having spent time apart since then, we’ve just recently been enjoying time together again.” She gestured around the group. “Friendship is the key. Passion and ardour can get you far and fast, but they won’t keep you together as one year becomes ten and ten becomes a hundred. My husband is my best friend in the world, and that is why we will always find one another again, however long we might part.”

“You aren’t pulling punches.” “You’ve got your mum to take the sensitive approach. Sometimes being a friend means telling someone what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. More than once, I’ve spent months and years stewing in my own juices when life kicked me in the beans. I’m not saying that you have to perk up and be happy. Our friend is going to die. But this isn’t about you. It’s about Gary, and you owe him a goodbye that lets him know you’re going to be alright, even if it’s not today. I’m not saying that means going off to Earth, but it does mean showing him there’s a future for you beyond lying around being sad. You know, the way he was after losing Farrah and me until you came along and kicked him in the pants.” “So, this is my kick in the pants?”

“How do we do this?” he asked. “How do we say goodbye? How can it ever be enough?” Gary put a comforting hand on Jason’s shoulder. “Jason, you’re going to live a long time. Probably forever. And in that time, you’re going to do a lot of amazing things.” Gary gestured at Jason, leaking rainbow smoke. “Starting in about three minutes, from the looks of it,” Gary continued. “We both know you can lose your way at times. You have Shade and all of our friends, but maybe you can do something for me. When you find yourself uncertain of a choice, or wondering if you’re doing the right thing, maybe think back on your old leonid friend, and see if you can’t find a way to choose compassion.” Jason stared at Gary as tears poured from his eyes. He lunged forward and caught Gary in another hug.

“Rumble in the Jungle?” the Builder asked. “What does that mean?”

Rope a dope.

“Mobility scooter nothing,” Taika said. “She has a stand-up scooter. Some carbon-fibre monstrosity that reaches highway speeds. It isn’t safe.” “Oh, you know I don’t run it that fast,” Raina said. “I just need something with the power to transport a full-figured lady. And I always wear my safety gear.” “We’re inside a magic realm,” Taika said, “in a continent occupied by vampires. Where did you even find motorcycle pants in your size?” “Good news, everyone,” Raina said. “It looks like there’s extra dessert to go around because my son doesn’t want any.” “What? Mum, no…”

Gary emerged from the portal in his cloud seat, Farrah and his parents right behind. His parents each took one of his hands as the golden light around him drifted up and away. Rainbow smoke drifted up with it, leaving three people standing around an empty chair.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtb5stsvtsE

“Dad, I’m not a child.” “I know. I know, I really do. But I’m going to be honest with you, Emi: You’ve always been hard to parent. You thought you were smarter than me by age seven, and by age nine, you were right. And I’m not an idiot.” “You’re kind of an idiot.” He scoffed, putting a hand to his chest in mock offence. “I’m considered quite intelligent, I’ll have you know,” he told her. “I’m a doctor.” “So you tell people,” she muttered.

“Yes, but not all of them have a plan. I’m going to reach diamond rank.” “That’s higher than silver rank, right?” Emi gave her father a flat look. “Did you not read all the documentation on ranks and advancement?” “I’m only bronze rank, Emi. That high-rank stuff doesn’t apply to me. And it’s a lot of material. All those binders.” “You know there’s a digital copy, right? I can’t believe you skipped the reading. Were you like this in medical school?” “No!” “I feel sorry for the people who come to you, thinking you’re a doctor.” “I am a doctor!”

“How am I a problem?” “This boy is not the friend you lost, Mr Remore. He never will be. He will never have a memory of you, or of anything from any of his past lives. He will not have the same personality or follow the same life path. You will see echoes of the man he was because yes, that was your friend’s soul. Now it is this boy’s soul. He will grow up to be his own person. To make his own choices and his own mistakes. This boy is not your friend but your friend’s legacy. He is the gift that your friend has left to the cosmos. Gareth Xandier is gone, and he’s never coming back.” Velius bowed his head. “I’m sorry to be so blunt about your loss,” he said. “But it’s critical that you understand what I am trying to tell you. As I said, there is a reason that reincarnated souls are sent where no one they knew will ever find them.” “How did this happen? Becoming a demigod made him like Jason and the messengers. He wasn’t meant to be able to come back.” “He hasn’t come back. This is a new person. That’s what I’m repeating over and over, and will keep doing so until this sinks in.”

“His soul was altered?” “No. His soul changed by itself; that’s what reincarnation is. It was not altered by an external force. Not even the Reaper can do that. Change is a natural part of the reincarnation process. Your friend changed himself. I said this boy was your friend’s legacy and I meant it literally. Your friend prepared his soul to gift a new life to the cosmos.” “He did seem accepting,” Rufus said. “So, that’s what happens to people when they die?” “Some people. There are other possibilities, but we’re definitely not talking about that. It’s one thing to speculate on the afterlife and another to get confirmation. You’ve already learned more than a living person should.”

Neil picked up another sandwich, looking at it forlornly. “How bad is it?” Nik asked. “It’s become clear that Cassandra and I won’t work until she gets past this.” “Are you sure?” Nik asked. “Because Jason’s not coming back any time soon.” Neil let out a resigned sigh. “Yeah,” Neil said. “Thanks, Nik. I think I already knew what I have to do. I was just, I don’t know. Scared, I guess. It was all just mixed up enough that I’ve been talking myself out of doing what I have to.” “You know you’re going to stuff it up, right?” “Yeah,” Neil said with a sigh. “I know.”

She kicked Pochard hard in the stomach. “And that’s for sleeping with Clive’s wife,” she added. “Wha…?” Pochard asked as Clive rolled his eyes. “Really?” Clive asked. Sophie flashed him a grin and then was past him in a blur of movement. Clive shook his head and followed.

“You haven’t been wrong,” Rufus said. “All of your concerns have been valid. You’ve just taken the right feelings and the right ideas a little far.” “Until they were wrong,” Ian clarified. Erika and Rufus both stopped to stare at him. “I said a bad thing again, didn’t I?” he asked. “How did this man convince you to marry him?” Rufus asked. “I honestly don’t remember.” “It was a sexy nurse outfit,” Ian said. “He got you to wear a sexy nurse outfit?” Rufus asked Erika. “Oh, I wasn’t the one wearing it,” Erika said. “I think we just hit the part of the conversation I do not want to be involved in,” Rufus said and set out again for the towering pagoda.

“Yeah, I never did get around to that Stephen Hawking book my nan got me for my birthday. But your point is made. There’s only so many ways you can explain that you are very big and I am very small before the motif becomes repetitive. It sounds like you’re trying to get me to do that scene from Monty Python where they keep telling God how huge he is, and I’m not going to do it. Okay, I’ll do it. Oooh Lord, you are so very big. We’re all really impressed down here, I… You know, I’m getting this wrong. I haven’t seen it in a while. You remember the scene, right?” “Yes,” the World-Phoenix said, drawing the word out like a threat. “You have filled this ridiculous body with worthless knowledge.” “Ridiculous? I modelled that after Dawn, who was your prime vessel. I even gave it bigger… fiery wings.” The World Phoenix glared at Jason and conjured a whip of dancing fire into her hand. “I’m not going to enjoy this, am I?” Jason asked. “No.” “Just so you know, I’ve changed my safe word. The new one is ‘coquettish.’”

“I need to think about this.” Stash let out a groan. “Why do people who aren’t dragons always overcomplicate things? If you aren’t talking yourselves into what you were going to do anyway, you’re talking yourselves out of what you were never going to do anyway. You should just decide what you want to do and do it. Like me.” “If all dragons did that, you’d have a cave somewhere with a massive hoard of biscuits.” Stash’s eyes darted left and right. “I definitely don’t have one of those,” he said. “I know. If you did, then you wouldn’t need to make money helping students with more money than sense skip their classes.”

Vitesse had many shopping districts. In one of the canal districts there was a patisserie called ‘The Pastry Stash.’ A bird flew in through an opening in the roof, turning into a person when he was inside. He went into the front where the manager, Janice, was working with the counter staff to handle a gaggle of customers. She saw him gesturing and headed into the back of the shop. “What is it, Boss?” she asked. “We need to hide the tunnel better. Good enough that gold-rankers can’t find it.” “Boss, I’m going to ask why. Again. The illusions and warding magic we have on there now cost more than six months’ profit. And we’re doing really well; we make a lot of profit. I’ll remind you that Miss Farrah said that scaling up any more than what we have already would be multiple times more expensive. Is it really worth it when there’s nothing down there but baked goods and food stasis enchantments?” “Yes!”

“Don’t talk to me as if you hold the moral high ground, Reaper. You agreed to sunder the throne. You came here to enslave Asano’s soul. I’ve lost that chance, and you know what? I’m relieved.” “Mortal weakness.” “Yes. I wouldn’t have regrets if I wasn’t in this vessel. But I am.” “You were always too fond of your prime vessels. You go through them so fast because you raise them like pets instead of using them like tools.” “Says the man who got sad because his boy left home.” “I FELT NOTHING!” he roared, earning a raised eyebrow from the World-Phoenix. The Reaper said nothing, levelling a glare at her as he tugged adjustments to the drape of his suit. Without another word, he marched away. The World-Phoenix watched him go, then turned to take in the panorama one last time. She looked down the road where the Reaper was striding downhill. With a sigh, she started walking.

“I’m not here talk about any of that. I’m here to see you. I know I wasn’t in the best place, the last time we saw each other. I know I’ve been gone a long time, and missed one of the most important parts of your life. Time when you could have really used the terrible advice of a shady uncle.” They both laughed. They both had wet eyes. “There’s no making up for not having been there,” he said. “But I’ll be there soon.”

“There is no point to this,” the Reaper interrupted. “You need to⁠—” “You need to shut your damn mouth!” Jason snarled, his affable demeanour replaced with spitting savagery in an instant. “You two are new to mortality, so you don’t understand what it cost me to be dragged into your little game. Well, the game is over and I won. So, you are going to stand there and listen to my Bond villain speech, Reaper, or I will use the Cosmic Throne to give everyone in the universe ten free resurrections, do you hear me?” The Reaper stared at him for a long time before giving a curt nod. As soon as he did, Jason was all smiles again, as if his spittle-tossing rage had never happened.

“I like it,” Jason said. “There’s an appropriate otherworldliness, rather than those regular ruined castles you always see.” “Mr Asano, when exactly do you see so many ruined castles?” “All the time. You’re not always watching.” “Yes, Mr Asano. I am.” “Not going lie, Shade; that creeped me out a little.”