He Who Fights with Monsters 11 (He Who Fights with Monsters, #11)

by Shirtaloon

Colin took on a childish, sullen expression, kicking at the red desert dirt. “I bet if we fought the god of sandwiches, you’d eat it,” he grumbled under his breath. “Colin…” “What?” the familiar asked, lifting his head with a challenging glare. “What did I do wrong? I haven’t eaten any babies, even though they’re really easy to catch.” Jason sighed. “I’m sorry, Colin. I know you’re always a good boy.” Colin looked mollified and Jason reached out to touch his arm. Colin dissolved back into blood and was drawn back into Jason’s hand in a single moment, like water sucked into the vacuum of space. “Well,” Jason said. “That didn’t go how I hoped. Anyway, we were talking about the summoning incantation for Gordon, my other familiar.” “What’s the summoning ritual for the blood monster like?” “Probably best I don’t say. And I told you to call him Colin. He really is a good boy.” “You realise most people don’t need to point out that they don’t eat babies.” “Well, in fairness, he didn’t say he doesn’t eat babies. He said he hasn’t eaten any babies.” “Isn’t that the same thing?” “Not exactly. It’s like me never having gone to Vitesse. It’s not that I’m a person who doesn’t go to Vitesse, just that I haven’t gone to Vitesse. Yet.” “You’re saying he’s going to eat a baby.” “No, I don’t think he’s going to eat a baby. Once he starts, he’ll probably be eating them in job lots.” “Now I’m going to need you to tell me what’s in that summoning incantation.” “I don’t even remember it properly...