Beg, Borrow, or Steal (When in Rome, #3)

by Sarah Adams

“My dad is a narcissist. I don’t mean it in a hyperbolic way either. I’m pretty certain that he is an actual narcissist. My life growing up…it was painful a lot. And I quickly learned that saying what I truly thought or felt could get turned on me in an instant. Honesty, vulnerability…those things were what I got rid of first. And then I learned the art of reading him. Reading his moods and his energy and becoming what I needed to be to get through the day and to protect my mom from his shit. That mechanism bled into the rest of my life too…mostly by accident. I read people and adapt before I even realize I’m doing it. It’s usually not until later when I’m sitting alone, and I feel hollow and used and upset that I realize I betrayed myself in some way. And so often…I’m scared that all this reading and maneuvering people—even if it’s with the right intent—is somehow going to turn me into him. So when you made that comment—” I shut my eyes. “The ‘monster in private’ one…” He nods slowly. “It terrified me.”