Hearing Red

by Nicole Maser

"We’re going another way," she whispered, taking the girl's hand and wrapping it around her arm.

She shimmied the rest of the way through, placing her hands on Saff's shoulders and leaning her weight against her.

A dead body, or skeleton, would be a better word for it. They crawled in and out, gnawing on the bones as their claws etched against them. "What is it?" the girl asked, her grip tightening around her arm.

"Med school," she muttered. The girl nodded, then went silent again for a few moments. "Makes sense now." Saff gave her a sidelong look. "What does?" "You're good at this," the girl answered, nodding down to where her hand gripped her arm. "Guiding. Explaining. Most people aren't." They

Maddie took her hand and hoisted her arm over her shoulders. Then she looped her other arm around her waist, accepting the burden of her weight.

She wasn't sure how she would get out of the city, but she did know one thing. It would be much easier if she had this woman's help. And she couldn't do that if she died.

But then there were also new dreams: dreams of a girl, dreams of pain.

"I don't have it anymore. That guy took it," Maddie answered as she placed the jug of water into her bag. Saff frowned, reaching down into her backpack. She pulled out one of many medium-sized blades. "Put your hand out," she breathed, hoisting

the backpack onto her shoulder. Maddie hesitated for a moment as she put her bag on her own shoulders, then tentatively held her palm up in the air. "There's a sheath on the blade," Saff muttered, placing the knife handle into Maddie's hand. Maddie turned the knife over, fingers gliding over the details of the handle. "Thanks," she said, a hint of surprise in her tone.

A sore ache had formed in the crook of her elbow from being bent for hours, holding onto Saff’s arm, and she slowly dropped her hand from her bicep, down to her wrist instead, stopping when her fingers landed on a watch.

“You know, if it’s an ‘M’, it would basically be like our friendship bracelet.” Maddie couldn’t help the smile on her face as she said it, knowing how much that would irritate her. And it clearly did. Saff immediately grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand back up to its previous spot on her arm.

She looked calm, almost completely at ease, like she could laugh or make a joke at any moment. It was an odd contrast to the backdrop behind her: the ruined city, half-fallen skyscrapers now far in the distance. Nature had been quick to reclaim the ground it had once lost, sending vines up the buildings to slowly pull them back into the earth. Maybe

She released her hand from Saff's arm, and for the briefest moment, it almost felt odd without it there.

"Keep it," Saff muttered. A warm smile spread across Maddie's mouth. It wasn't the amused or intrigued smile she’d worn off and on as they'd walked. It was different. Genuine. And Saff hated it.

She turned to leave the room, but then stopped. She reached out and left the rest of the lanterns on the countertop in the kitchen, clicking one of them on. Then she turned and walked into the next room.

Maddie gave her a small but genuine smile. And Saff hated that one a little less than the last.

She dropped one more lantern by the next bedroom door before entering. Then she pulled out a third and walked to the bed, placing it on the bedside table.

In one swift movement, she was shoved away, her arm wrenched behind her back. Then she immediately felt Saff’s body pressed against her back and a hand wrapped around to grab her throat, squeezing the remaining air from her windpipe.

After a few seconds, Saff cleared her throat. “Is your—” she cleared her throat again, although it didn't seem to come from necessity. “Is your arm okay?”

With the pain in her side growing worse by the minute, it might not be a bad idea to stay with another person.

Saff's arm shook, and Maddie moved her hand up across her shoulders, stopping near the base of her neck. Wet hair draped over the dry cotton of the hood, and she brushed it away, moving her hand up onto the skin on the back of Saff's neck. She’d moved it there without thinking, and now she was surprised—very surprised—that Saff had done nothing to resist it.

Saff didn’t bother mentioning that she was going to offer the first cot up for her to sleep on that night even before she’d found the second one.

“When they're like this,” Saff started, and suddenly Maddie could no longer focus on what she was saying. She smelled like coffee and cinnamon—like warmth. And hearing her voice so close suddenly felt intimate in a way that Maddie hadn't experienced in a very long time.

Saff’s hand move to the spot below hers on the gun, her fingers just barely grazing the edge of her palm.

After that first time she’d worn it, Maddie had mentioned how comfortable it was, so when they washed their clothes in the creek, Saff had left it on her cot to keep wearing if she wanted to. It was never her favorite, anyway. The neckline

Maddie was slightly smaller than her, so maybe it did just fit her better.

“You know,” Maddie said, swallowing her bite. “You never had to sit on the floor. You could always lay on the cot with me.”

Her deep blue eyes held a look of complete focus as she trailed her fingers up into her hairline at the back of her neck.

Saff’s arm wrapped so hard around her that she could barely move even an inch in any direction. She held on tight to Saff’s backpack, tucking her face down as her chin pressed into her neck and shoulder.

“I think I got spoiled,” she said. “I miss my cot.” “Your cot?” Saff asked with a chuckle. Maddie smiled. “Yes. And my blanket.” Saff chuckled again, and Maddie’s smile grew. “You’re right,” Saff muttered. “You were spoiled.”

“I’ll be up watching all night,” Saff replied. “Nothing will get to you.” Maddie’s chest fluttered slightly.

blonde hair, brushing it to the side.

Another cough came out, and she watched Maddie’s look of concern grow. “Don’t sleep in the basement again tonight.”

The corner of Saff’s mouth pulled up into an almost-smile at the commanding tone of Maddie’s voice. “I’m not.”

Her warmth. The way she held onto her wrist and fiddled with her bracelet the last time they’d fallen asleep beside each other. She hadn’t let herself think about it before. She’d shoved away any memory of that night. But now, she couldn’t. Or maybe she could if she really tried, but she just—didn’t.

Maddie was like watching the sun rise on her early morning walks through the woods, soothing her in the exact same way. And this time, she was too exhausted to make herself look away. She wanted to watch it. She wanted to watch—her.

she saw the Penn State soccer decal on the front. She smirked, shaking her head as she walked toward the room.

It was like she was watching herself, or someone else, from above. The actions didn’t feel like her own. But then again, somehow they did. Like it was some long-lost version of herself. A version that had died many years and paths before. Even so, that familiar sense of ease washed over her. She let her hand move until her fingers grazed against Maddie’s, and she watched Maddie’s lips part as her hand opened. Saff took it, then gently placed it on the back of her own neck, where Maddie usually trailed her fingers over. Maddie’s expression changed in an instant from one of surprise to something else. Something that was completely new,

And the second it appeared on Maddie’s face, it sent a burning shiver through her body. Some feeling entered her chest. One that she hadn’t felt in years. And if she really let herself think about it, maybe not even then. Maybe she’d never really felt it. No. A voice in her head shot off a warning.

“You’re good with everyone,” Saff whispered.

a teasing smirk. “Am I good with you?” Saff swallowed, going still as Maddie’s hand moved back down, her nails lightly grazing her skin until her hand had moved to the side of her neck. Her fingers continued up to her earlobe, then lightly traced back down over the curve of her jaw.

Then her hand moved before she could stop it, resting on Maddie’s hip.

The kiss suddenly turned from gentle and slow to something she needed in order to breathe. Like she’d been starved her whole life and had no idea until she’d tasted what she’d been missing.

Saff spun and sprinted down the street toward Maddie’s house.

“You want me,” she breathed, the words twisting like an insult. “And you can’t handle it.”

And she realized in that moment that maybe she’d never again be able to deny Maddie of anything. That at some point, maybe even right from the start, Maddie had some hold on her. And deep down, she’d always want to give her anything—everything—she asked for. Saff released a breath, turning away. Then, slowly, she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I never planned to go with him—them—after the outbreak.” Maddie went still behind her, as if she was surprised she was telling her. Then she moved forward on the bed, letting her legs down until she sat on the edge right beside her, their knees barely touching. Saff waited a beat, watching Maddie settle, before she continued.

“I don’t think I can leave you,” Saff whispered.

“If you keep touching me like that, neither of us are going to get much sleep.”