Hearing Red

by Nicole Maser

Maybe it was the warmth of having someone beside her, or maybe it was having someone's arm wrapped protectively around her. Or maybe, she thought, it was having Saff’s arm wrapped around her.

“I’ll be up watching all night,” Saff replied. “Nothing will get to you.”

“Can you stay here?” Maddie whispered. “Just until I fall asleep?” She felt Saff moving again and turning her body. Then she realized she was turning toward her, not away. Her hand fell from her shoulder down to her bicep. “Yeah,” Saff whispered back.

She knew what she really needed, what would actually give her some relief. But unfortunately, Maddie wasn't there.

That's when Saff realized it. Maddie was worried about her, and not in a selfish way. Not because she wanted her to be okay so that she could travel with her. She was worried about her just—because.

It made a smile pull across Saff’s own lips. She almost couldn’t help it. Watching Maddie was like watching the sun rise on her early morning walks through the woods, soothing her in the exact same way. And this time, she was too exhausted to make herself look away. She wanted to watch it. She wanted to watch—her.

But they didn’t matter. No matter how much sense they each made, in that moment, the one and only thing that made complete sense was the way her chest burned when Maddie touched her. The way her stomach erupted at the look in her eyes.

“You want me,” she breathed, the words twisting like an insult. “And you can’t handle it.”

“If you want to leave, then I won’t try to stop you,” Maddie whispered. “But I don’t want you to go.” Saff released a breath, but her arms tightened around her. Then Maddie felt her head slowly turn, and warm lips kissed her cheek. The sheer happiness that bloomed in her chest then was like nothing she’d ever felt before. “I don’t think I can leave you,” Saff whispered.

“I’m glad I found you that day,” she whispered, her eyes growing heavy again.

“I love you,” Saff whispered, the words seeping straight out from her aching heart.