“It’s complicated, what I’m trying to explain,” he continued. “It’s inside-out thinking, but if I could communicate it, you’d realize that right now you are the most honest that you will ever be, and if you could somehow stay that way, then you would triumph over life, swear to God, because at some point soon, and maybe it’s already happened, you’re going to get hurt badly and repeatedly, small hurts over and over, things you don’t feel right now, like tick bites or leeches attaching to your skin. You’re going to stop listening and feeling and instead start making arguments, every day of your
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