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“Why?” Rosalie asked flatly. “They’re the ones always calling for us to be exterminated.” “Oh yeah, white, femme, cisgender lesbians, you’re their number one target.” Shelby’s eyebrows rose.
“When my mom kicked me out,” she said softly, “I’d never even kissed a girl.” Rosalie turned on her side to face her again and Savannah reached out to wrap a lock of auburn hair around her fingers. “At least now I know that getting kicked out of home was worth it.”
“No one can be everything,” Savannah said. “I can’t let you be everything, because if something goes wrong, I’ll lose everything.”
“Okay,” Rosalie’s voice cracked. “We won’t do that again. You won’t lose me, Savannah. I promise.” Two days later, Savannah moved out anyway.
“I’d probably be all tied up in knots about it. I’d probably think of her as someone I shouldn’t have had sex with.” “Savannah!” Oh god. Sometimes it sucked having a best friend who knew you on what occasionally felt like a cellular level. “Ugh, how are you this fucking psychic?” “I mean, it helps that you turned into a literal strawberry when you saw her. Besides,” Savannah smirked, a tiny glint in her eyes, “you always like to pretend I don’t know what your sex face looks like.”
She slipped her arms around her wife and gazed up at her. Rosalie’s heart did that thing it often did around them, some kind of complex emotion that was love and joy and jealousy and some other weird tug that she only just now realized was grief.
Over the years, Rosalie had come to adore Brynn, for two primary reasons: she made Savannah happy beyond measure, and she was never threatened by Savannah and Rosalie’s closeness, making her a rare creature in both their lives. Beyond that, she was warm, steady, funny and easygoing, and - if Rosalie had been forced to admit it at gunpoint - it didn’t hurt that she was extremely easy on the eye. She was the perfect counterpoint to Savannah in every way.
“I said, you asshole, that I love you. And I don’t want us to fuck because I don’t want you to be my girlfriend or whatever, because we’re literally seventeen and eighteen and we will screw it up in about five minutes flat and then I will lose you! And I just have this… feeling… that you’re too important to me for that. So yeah, I needed some space to get over you, so we could move the fuck on. Okay?”
“I love you too,” Rosalie realized. A sense of wonder hit her as she examined Savannah’s face. “Let’s be two people who don’t have sex with each other, forever.”
“Don’t worry,” Rosalie told her with a huge grin, “I’ll always love you more.” Savannah shot her a fond exasperated look and Rosalie quickly added in an urgent whisper, “Oh my god but don’t ever tell her that!”
“You were right,” Rosalie said, after a while. “We would have fucked it up too if we’d tried it.” “Told you,” said Savannah, sadly. They curled up on either end of the couch and watched movies until they both passed out.
“Listen,” Rosalie said fiercely. “You are not going to lose me. I don’t care if you’re broke or a millionaire, you’re my best friend and I’m going to love you just the same. Okay?”
“The orgies backstage have slowed down a little now I have a wife and kids,” she said drily and Kinsey grinned. “And Brynn’s groupies?” “I have them murdered,” she said lightly. “It’s very effective.”
“You can lie to yourself, but not to your best friend.”
“Because I know you! And I fucking love you, you stupid asshole.”
“The ball in the box,” Kinsey said. Rosalie twisted slightly in her arms to look at her. “The grief theory,” she said, “with the pain button and the ball that keeps getting smaller?” “But when it hits the pain button it still hurts just as much.” Rosalie’s green eyes shone like seafoam in the light reflecting off the snow outdoors, as if crying had changed the color. “You lost someone too.”
I’m going to love you both forever
“Savannah’s loved you her whole life,” she said. Rosalie nodded, unsure if this was the moment Brynn was going to stake her ownership. “Is it weird that I love you for that?” she said instead.
“She’s taken though, so please stop throwing panties at the stage all the time, it’s a fucking trip hazard.”
“that sometimes, no matter who else we love, it’s really our friends who are the great loves of our lives.”
