Beautiful Ugly

by Alice Feeney

Are there any benefits to losing it all? I think about that a lot. Your thoughts can change shape when you have too much time on your hands. Overthinking the things you think you need to worry about, under-thinking the things you should. The only good thing about losing everything is having nothing left to lose.

I realize I haven’t seen much of the world for years. I have locked myself away from reality,

Merely existing inside my own head. Then grieving for everything and everyone I have lost.

“People rarely know what they have until they lose it. They spend their lives searching for a better one, wanting more, needing more, blind to the fact that they already had it all. I think sometimes it’s only when something gets taken from a person that they appreciate what they had.

Fear of death. Fear of abandonment. Fear of failure.

fear death because I don’t think I have achieved much with my life,

I’ve already been abandoned by the people who were su...

Fear of failure, well, I don’t know what it is like not to live in perpetual fear of not living up to your own expectations.