Beautiful Ugly

by Alice Feeney

I’ve grown weary of people saying, “I’m sorry for your loss.” I’m sure they are sorry, for a while, until they forget all about it and continue with their lives.

“Sometimes I just want to disappear. I know I have a lot to be grateful for but I don’t like my life. I want something else. Something different. Something more.

There is nothing sweet about sorrow. Sadness can consume a person if it is allowed to linger too long. It takes root and buries itself inside a person’s soul, until every thought is too heavy, too painful to think.

I feel a strange sensation. Something like happy.

Guilt is such a sticky emotion; you can’t wash the damn thing off.