Was he sad? Was he in pain? Because if he was, then it changed everything, and I didn’t know what to do with the new reality it left me with. I needed him to be happy. Because part of my grieving Cas, instrumental, in fact, to my grieving him, was knowing that he was happy with the choice he’d made. Was knowing that he’d chosen that perfectly comfortable life with Blackwell on the other side of the fucking world and regretted nothing. I didn’t want to hear that it had been a mistake, because then it would mean we’d both been miserable for no fucking reason.
