Between Now and Forever

by Adriana Locke

“We like five foot one, maybe five two, dark-blond or light-brown-haired women who are wrapped in a towel in the middle of the yard and look at us like we’re the man of their dreams.”

“Damn you, Christopher,” I say, letting the licks of anger stemming from my ex-husband’s death burn for a moment.

“We’ll still do life together. We’ll just do it from different houses.” Christopher smiles at me with the same goofy grin Dylan used to wear. “You deserve a lover, someone to appreciate all the wild goodness you have to offer. This doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Gabs. It just means that there’s someone else out there who can love you better. And I love you enough to want that for you.”

“I love you, buddy. I’m here. I’ll always be here—on your team,” I say gently. “But please remember that I’m a person and I have feelings too. And the way you’ve been talking to me hurts. I don’t want to punish you and make your life harder, but I can’t let you think that your behavior is okay.”

He throws himself at me, pulling me in for the tightest hug. He buries his face in my shoulder and squeezes me. I hold the back of his head with one hand and hug him with the other. All the while, my heart breaks. Oh, my sweet boy.

“She is. And every day we spend together, I hope there’s another one to follow. She says she wants to live again.” His smile fades into the shy grin that melts my heart. “But I didn’t even realize I wasn’t living until I met her.”

he’s proven to be everything I want in a man. Even when I wasn’t looking for someone.

“None of that matters because you’re right,” I say, my hand on the doorknob. “We need to stop this. Because I won’t fight for a man that won’t bother to fight for me.”

No matter what it takes, I’m going to fix this. I’m going to convince Gabrielle to take me back. It might have taken me a long time to get here, but I’m not going back. They are mine—all three of them. And I won’t let them go again.

“Because it’s not over for me. It can never be over. Because I love the hell out of you.”

“You’re in control. You call the shots. I’ll play by your rules as long as you let me play.”