From Air (Wildfire, #1)

by Jewel E. Ann

“I’m Jaymes Andrews. You can call me Jamie or Wretched Woman Who Parks in the Wrong Spot. Whatever works.”

I’m unsure if I despise Calvin Fitzgerald or if he’s officially my newest obsession.

I can’t turn away. I want to crawl onto the counter with a pillow and fall asleep while watching her. She could make a visual meditation app. This shit’s my crack.

“You’re generous. Distractingly mesmerizing. Quirky in a brilliant way. And ineffably beautiful.”

“You kissed me, Fitz. Twice. Why did you kiss me?” “Because not kissing you became too exhausting.”

Her frown deepens. “I’m irrationally scared of a mouse. I need you to be my hero today and get rid of it. Is that what you need to hear?” My lips corkscrew, and I nod several times. “That works. Be right back. Keep an eye on Mickey.”

“You’re an illusion.” He messes with my backpack strap, giving his gaze a new place to focus. “A distraction. I can’t stop looking at you. And I can’t stop navigating closer to you, even though I know you’re unreachable.”

A woman’s heart is woven from equal parts strength and vulnerability. Its love knows no boundaries. But it demands accountability. I’ll never ask Fitz why he broke my heart. I’ll simply insist upon him acknowledging that he did it.

“Jaymes, you’re my favorite kind of wrong.

He’s an earthquake—a force of nature. And I don’t stand a chance of surviving him.

“I want to feel your pain. And I want to take it away.”

I don’t want to kiss this woman. I need to kiss her. It’s my biggest weakness.

“I love that you think this is about you. Maybe I have a lump in my breast. Maybe I want Maren to go shopping with me. Maybe I just want to catch up with her. Why does it have to be about you? Do you think my feminine heart is too fragile to handle a weekend between the sheets with you without picking out a wedding dress?”

“I’m still your person. Right?” I ask. It takes him a moment to bring his gaze to mine. He looks lost, like he didn’t hear what I said. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “You’re my best person.”

Still, here I am, unprepared for the inevitable.

“I will have a life, and it will be phenomenal. I will find him, and he will be mine. And to do that, I have to let you go.” My gaze climbs up his chest to his face—his oh-so-heartbreaking face. “But I’m okay with you never letting me go. I hope you think back to this moment when your life feels lonely. And if you only remember one thing, let it be this. On a random Wednesday, the world’s most fascinating woman stopped by your work and offered you sex. But you turned her down.”

“Thank you for your service, Smoke Jumper Calvin Fitzgerald. It’s been an honor knowing you.”

A woman’s heart isn’t merely complicated; it’s the reason humanity still exists. We are the nurturers, the peacemakers. We know when silence is more profound than any spoken word. And we know that pain is not love’s enemy; it’s the existential foundation that keeps humanity rooted in this world. It’s the sole motivation to do better, get better, and be better.

“I’ve never cared that you’ve been hell bent on living a bachelor’s life for eternity. Marriage and babies aren’t for everyone. And I honestly believed you were incapable of that kind of love.” She blinks up at me. “But, Calvin Fitzgerald, you fell in love with Jamie. And she fell in love with you. And you . . .” Her eyes narrow as she slowly shakes her head. “You let her go. You found love. And. Let. Her. Go.”

“So that means she likes you, Fitz. She likes you enough to take you any way she can get you. She didn’t die. She moved to California. Be her friend. Reward her for leaving you by giving her whatever part of yourself you can. She doesn’t actually have to be yours for you to love her.”

“Yet here I am. Fumbling my words and wallowing around outside my comfort zone because I made you my person, and you don’t fit in my life, but my life no longer fits me without you.”

That’s the thing with love; it’s untimely, unannounced, and underestimated. It’s not a choice. It’s a state of being.

So here I am, staring down the edge of a cliff, and I don’t know whether I should run away or jump.

“You are a stubborn boy.” “I’m a stubborn man.”

This woman was made for me, just not in the right life.

I can’t even begin to understand the look in his eyes. It’s pure torture. I didn’t put that look there, but I feel like I bring it to the surface.

“If you were normal and didn’t have an awful past, do you think you could love me?”

“Jaymes, if I were normal, I’d love you enough. The problem is, I’m not normal, so I’d love you too much.”

If u die today I won’t cry immediately because I’ll be too sleep deprived

“Whether you choose to love me or not, whether I’m with you or find someone else who wants my heart, if I’m alive when you leave this earth, I will grieve you. Your smile. Your laughter. Your touch.” I sniffle through my stuffy broken nose with shaky breath. “But I won’t regret anything. This love is worth the pain.”

“I tried not to love her.” “You failed.”

“Don’t love me like a martyr,” she whispers thickly, strangled with emotion. “Love me like a hero. Jump without looking back.” Her eyes pinch shut, releasing more tears while she inhales shakily. “Fight for me. Save us.”

“It’s time, buddy. Go bring our girl home, or else I will burn down the shed, kick your ass to the curb, and put a ring on her finger myself.”

Jaymes isn’t the girl of my dreams. I never allowed myself that luxury. She’s the girl who has taught me how to dream.

“I will love you like a hero. Jump without looking back. I will fight for you. I will save us.”

“I love you, Fitzy.” I only see the side of his face, half his ginormous grin. “I know you do.” I don’t know why I expect any other answer. “And you love me.” “Too much.”