“Goddammit! I do want to be with you. And I want my awful fucking past to disappear from my mind forever. I want a different life with a different set of circumstances. But I don’t want to pretend with you.” I rake my fingers through my hair and lace them behind my neck. “I don’t know what kind of cruel god would bring you into my life. Even if I deserve to see what I can never truly have, even if I deserve to suffer, you don’t deserve anything short of . . .” Shaking my head repeatedly, I tear at my stupid costume until I manage to escape its confines. “Everything.” My shoulders curl inward,
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