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I hide the fact that I actually spent last night alone and sad with only my laptop and a bottle of red for company. I pretend it doesn’t bother me that he spends so much time with people who can’t stand me—that he chooses them over me, every time.
“I wouldn’t share a bed with you if we were in the middle of the Arctic and I was butt-ass naked,” I whisper, leaning in close. “I’ve learned not to want things that are bad for me, darling.”
In the twenty-one years since we started dating, I have never once cheated on Amber. She knows that … Doesn’t she? Amber and I may not have made love for over six months, but I would never cheat.
We were in love once, this man and I. We shared everything, keeping no secrets from one another, our lives woven together like the threads of a tapestry. He was my soulmate, my best friend, my lover. Our passion lit up my heart and made me shine from the inside out.
“I am tired, Elijah, yes. I’m exhausted, and I know you must be too. Why do we keep doing this? Why do we keep dancing this dance? Why don’t we just … let go?” My nostrils flare and my hand drops to my side. “What do you mean?” Her sigh speaks of bone-deep weariness. “I mean I think I’m done, Elijah. I want a divorce.”
I want to drag her into my arms and kiss her so hard she can’t breathe. I want to tell her how much I love her, how much I want this marriage to work. How much I need her.
“Let’s leave,” I say. “Right fucking now if you like. Pack a bag and head off somewhere new. Somewhere nobody will find us. I’ll give up work and my family. I’ll give up anything, Amber. I love you, baby. I don’t want this to end.”
How long would it be before you resented me for taking you away from your world? No, it’s not realistic. I’d never ask that of you. I’d never ask you to change who you are just for a shot at saving a marriage we both know is already over.” She takes a deep breath and then says, in a voice so heartbreakingly tender, “But for what it’s worth, honey, I love you too.”
“I can guarantee you that anyone foolish enough to kidnap my wife would end up offering us a ransom to take her back.”
From the sounds I hear, I can only guess that he’s taking off the rest of his clothes. Then comes the familiar sound of ice and liquid clinking in a glass, and I try to picture what he’s doing. “Are you … Are you drinking a Scotch?”
“This is missing something,” he murmurs, climbing off the bed again. I feel liquid pouring over my pussy, warmer than the ice. A familiar scent reaches my nose. “Is that Scotch?” I ask. “Did you just pour fifty-year-old Macallan on my pussy?”
“The truth is, I learned to stop needing you a long time ago—I realized I couldn’t rely on you. But I never stopped hoping that you would choose me anyway.”
“Yes, Mom,” says Nathan. “Though I don’t see what’s wrong with our kid’s first word being flapjack.”
I don’t reply because nothing that comes out of my mouth right now will do any good. Instead, I pass baby Luke the Jenga block I found in my pocket. Delighted, he lets out a demonic giggle and whacks it solidly into his dad’s eye socket. As I close the door behind me, I smile at my brother’s exclamation of “Fuck!”
“Always,” she replies, leaning up to kiss me. “As long as it’s a pony.” Damn. Why didn’t I think of that?
“Put the ring on her finger before she changes her mind, bro,” yells Mason, making us all laugh.
“Fuck!” says Maddox, jumping back and shielding his eyes like a flash bang just went off. “Fuck!” I parrot, hastily pulling my coat closed and belting it firmly. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t expect you.”