The Fine Art Of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills – and Leave a Positive Impression!

by Debra Fine

People who excel at small talk are experts at making others feel included, valued, and comfortable.

Just remind yourself that there are more dire consequences in life than a rejection by someone at a networking event, singles function, back-to-school night, or association meeting.

Always begin and end your business conversation with small talk to humanize the relationship.

Start thinking of strangers as people who can bring new dimensions to your life, not as persons to be feared.

Good things come to those who take action and start creating good things.

Although it might be scary to climb out from the safety of the trunk, you’ll rarely pluck the sweet fruit by waiting there.

count as shouldering your share of the burden. The first step in becoming a great conversationalist is becoming invested in the conversation and actively working to help the other person feel comfortable.

It is not about an agenda but is simply a way to acknowledge a person as being very real and there.

Using people’s names shows that you are interested in them and makes them feel special.

The approachable person is the one who makes eye contact with you or who is not actively engaged in a conversation or another activity such as reading a newspaper or working at a computer.

Believe me, I’ve been around plenty of these folks—they are intelligent, interesting, welcoming … and shy. They are in the same spot you were before you decided to improve your skills. If you take the conversational plunge, they will herald you as a saviour.

The more interest you show in me, the more interesting you become to me.

We easily allow differences of all kinds to bias us against engaging in conversation. We allow gender, ethnicity, social status, generation, occupation, lifestyle, and a host of other differences to create artificial barriers to success.

The bottom line is that you have to open it up, and you have to show you truly care.

Whenever you begin a dialogue with a question, get ready to dig deeper so that the other person knows you are interested in hearing more.

The key is to have a genuine interest in what the other person is saying, along with a genuine desire to hear the response.

Listening is more than just hearing. It’s a level of involvement that goes beyond reciting the contents of the conversation.

I really admire that you know exactly what you want. You’re not going to settle for something that you don’t want and then possibly be unhappy with your choice later.

If I can find out … A low expectation is established when you use the word if. Raise expectations. Instill confidence. Instead: I will look into this and get back to you one way or the other.

Every encounter involves risk. As long as you keep looking for new people to meet and you show an interest in other people, you can make friends and enjoy lively conversations.

Think about the words connection and relationship. To “connect” or “relate” means to find commonality with another human being.

Comment on her response rather than asking a predictable follow-up question like Where do you like to go? It takes a higher level of listening to make a follow-up comment than it does to ask a follow-up question.

When you comment on someone’s response, they will be prompted to say something in return. Use it as connecting fuel.