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I’ve got a game tomorrow—a game Tony is going to be watching—and the last thing I need is to be distracted by adorable nerds.
Adorable nerds will snare you for sure
Great game! You got a shootout! I snort a laugh, and Vas looks over in surprise. I hold up my phone in answer. Shutout. Whatever, same thing. You were very skilled at defending the crease. No puck breached your five-hole. Nobody was going to score a backdoor tonight, not in your kitchen. Okay, that’s enough, get off of the internet. Hockey terms are fucking WEIRD.
They really are, though
But I don’t want him to stop, and I’m selfish. If I tell him he acts like we’re boyfriends, he won’t do it anymore.
Oh Carter
“I think I might love you,” he says, and I give a bark of startled laughter. Whacking him on the leg with the spatula, I shake my head.
Dear reader, this was not a lie
“Maybe she’d like a visitor this weekend?” I ask, and he glances at me and smiles an eighth of a smile. I feel like a fucking hero, earning that smile.
He needs to stop doing things like that—I don’t do unrequited crushes, and this is fast becoming one.
It’s the only thing from the evening that doesn’t hurt.
“I don’t know, I just…he felt right, is all.” I blush as I say this, the tips of my ears burning. There’s no better way to explain it, though. Carter was inevitable.
A therapist would probably have a few things to say about me creating imaginary friendships, I suppose, but it’s nobody else’s business what happens in my own head.
I just want to hug Carter
Instead, I remain flat on my back, miserable with my thoughts of all the things I know I can’t have.
I think it might be time to admit I might be more than a little bit interested in Zeke. I wish I knew what the hell to do about it.
Humans do this really cool thing calling talking. Try it
Yes, Vas, I have developed a crush on a skinny little nerd and it is making me physically ill. Thank you for noticing. “Uhm, no, I’m fine. Just distracted.”
“Well, I don’t know…I could ask, but—" “Come on, Zeke, you never come out to parties. It’ll be fun! Seriously, bring Carter. Please come.”
Oh no
“He said around eight, but we could get there whenever. After dinner. We can do both.” I am desperately trying to figure out where I went wrong here. Carter’s smile is gone, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to get it back.
Seek he said DATE. Oh god, this next part is going to make me cry. I can feel it
“The restaurant?” He glances up at me and back down to his plate. Scowling, he pops a bite of food in his mouth and chews slowly. “Yeah. I had reservations at a place on the coast, so I’m sure they were calling back to try and reschedule.” Setting my fork down, I press my hands against the table. “You had reservations somewhere? For tonight?” “Yeah. It’s not a big deal.”
😭😭😭
“Oh, Carter. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” No wonder he looked put out, earlier, he might have had to pay to reserve a table. “We should have just gone, instead of doing this stupid party. I’m really sorry.”
That’s not why he’s upset zeke
There is a barely discernible air of melancholy around him tonight, the downward tilt to his mouth lacking its usual anger as it leans toward sadness.
I’m delaying the read by writing these notes cause my eyes are already getting hot
But of course, Zeke is too nice of a person to flat-out tell me no. Instead, he’d engineered it so that we’d be surrounded by his friends. He’s just my roommate, he’d said, and all of them had nodded because naturally he would never be with someone like me.
Oh Carter
“Uhm…have you not liked me up until now?” He’s teasing, but there is a guarded look in his eyes. “Jesus, no, I mean yes, of course I’ve liked you. What I meant is that I just realized that I like you. Like, I want to kiss you. And we should have sex, sometime.”
His eyes widen. “Not that I’m not totally on board with what you just said, but…that’s a kid’s book about learning the rules of hockey. It was meant to be a joke, not an aphrodisiac.”
Lolololol
“Damn,” he says, frowning and throwing his head back dramatically. “And here I was hoping that meant you were ready for ravishing.” I let out a startled laugh and hit him with the hard edge of the hockey book. “You heathen.” “There go all my hopes for some spontaneous anal on the living room rug,”
“Thank you,” he says, sounding for all the world as though nobody has ever paid him a compliment before. I watch as he turns and walks into the showers. Vas beams at me like I’ve just completed a selfless act of community service.
As someone who read book 2 before book 1, seeing these bits of max is hurting my heart. He needs his Luke!
“Yes, please,” he answers politely, and then rises up on his tiptoes because apparently, he hasn’t killed off enough of my brain cells yet.
All he’s going to have to do is kiss me like this and make soft, adorable noises as he does it—I’ve never been so worked up in my life.
hope he’s just catching his breath and not thinking up ways to let me down easy. If he breaks up with me after that kiss, I’m not sure I could survive it.
“We’re best friends, Zeke. If you can’t talk about butt sex with your best friend, are we even friends?” He nudges my knee with his, below the table. “No need to be embarrassed.”
“You know what else I think?” he asks cheerfully. “You should talk to Carter about this. Pencil in an anal chat in-between hot and heavy make outs.” “I wish I’d never told you about the kissing.”
“I am well, thank you for asking! Here is our new friend, Max.” Vasel gestures to the other man, who raises his arm in a half-wave. There is something cautious about him, like he’s positioned himself near the back door in case he needs to make a hasty retreat.
🥺🥺🥺
“Max, this is Zeke. He is the best thing that has ever happened to Carter.”
“I knew you’d be good at this,” I say aloud, more to myself than him. He laughs against my stomach, vibrations rumbling through my pelvis. If he does that again, I’m going to come in my pants.
“Was that good for you?” I smile up at the ceiling. Nobody has ever asked me that before.
🥺🥺🥺
out of sight of all the adults,
Hate to tell you that you were also an adult lol
“Oh.” I fiddle with the package of spinach in my hands, the bag crinkling as I think. “Do you think he has social anxiety or something? He always seems sort of…lost? I don’t know, Carter, I just have a bad feeling.” “About Max?” he asks, sitting up straighter and narrowing his eyes at me. “Yeah, I think something is really wrong. I can’t explain it, it’s more of a…vibe, I guess.”
Maxxxxyyyy
I’m fairly certain the only person Carter has hugged in recent years is me, but still, he gamely pulls Max into an awkward side hug, patting his back and looking miserable. Max flinches before leaning into it, hands clenched tight around the pizza box. Jesus, now I want to hug Max, too. “Thanks for coming,” Carter says gruffly, letting him go and stepping back.
🥺😭😭
“Yeah. It’ll be more fun without Vas bringing down our NHL scores.” “That is rude, but I shall forgive you because I am nice guy,” Vas says, yanking Carter into what appears to be a bone-crushing hug.
