Falling in Love with the Man of My Nightmares (That's [Para]Normal #4)

by Camilla Evergreen

Concern and worry make you compassionate. Fear is entirely unhelpful for others. So I think…I think I got rid of it along with everything else that was inconvenient for those around me. It’s this sensation—this knowledge—that I’ve chipped pieces of myself that belonged to a different universe off that makes me feel subtly nauseated right now. I have flushed so much of myself down the drain in an effort to appeal to strangers. I have become a husk with the sole purpose of making others around me safe, and comfortable, and happy. I was taught living selflessly was the correct way. The right thing to do. I was taught that harmless parts of my character were wrong. So now I’m tired, and my cup is empty, and I’m just angry. All. The. Time. Whether I let myself show it or not. Whatever I do now that has the appearance of kindness no longer comes from the heart. It comes from my systems, and my standards, and the façade I use to portray whatever it is someone else wants to see.