Falling in Love with the Man of My Nightmares (That's [Para]Normal #4)

by Camilla Evergreen

abandons me like she’s not my emotional-support extrovert and the single lifeline I have in this mass of bubbling socialization.

“I steal emotions, Pollux. Ignoring boundaries is in my very DNA.”

“Trust is earned. Love is not. I would die to keep you safe. Do not for a moment take my caution to mean you are not precious to me. I have made mistakes before in not making these feelings as clear. Where I can, I do not intend to make them again.”

“Yeah.” I huff. “I just hope it’s love and not, like, you know, goat blood or something.” He exhales a laugh. “I think it’s just the blessing of people who care about me, regardless of the things that make it difficult.”

“Science,” she says. “Hugs are science.” My lips part, but all I can come up with is, “It’s true.”

“When you’re stressed, you have found an acceptable outlet of repetitive actions in order to filter the excess energy you hold onto, the excess energy you would otherwise funnel into correcting what is causing you stress. Years have put this barrier in place. I would prefer to slowly unravel it. Cautiously. Through events like tonight, where your dreams provide a method of introducing you to ideas that you can then process more casually while you rest.” “So I don’t explode?” “Pretty much, yeah.”

“I adore the potential of whatever you might become. A love based on anything that can be quantified is fickle. People grow. They learn. They incorporate new knowledge into their characters.” Bending, he touches a kiss to my fingertips. “My love is not a conditional sort you will ever need to concern yourself with losing as you adapt and find the person you want to be.”

I have become a husk with the sole purpose of making others around me safe, and comfortable, and happy. I was taught living selflessly was the correct way. The right thing to do. I was taught that harmless parts of my character were wrong.

It’s incredibly telling that I began to feel better the second Zahra was okay again. My entire self-worth really relies a hundred percent on the people I care about, huh?

“Regardless of whether you come or not, I will prepare a place for you. It will be there, ready and waiting, so you can know in the moments when you feel lost there is somewhere you fundamentally belong.”