Variation

by Rebecca Yarros

“So while sure, it makes me jealous that there are a couple of guys here who have seen you naked, I actually feel sorry for them because they’ll never

have you again.” I tugged her close and let the words fly like the revelation they were. “But I will. First means nothing. Last means everything.”

“I’ll fold,” I promised, my voice lowering. “I’ll turn myself inside out if it means I get to be hers.”

“Not that. Smile,” he begged. “What?” My mouth curved at the incredulous widening of his eyes. “There she is. God, I’ve missed you.”

“Truth always differs depending on who’s telling the story, and in complicated situations, there are countless variations. But when it comes to that summer, in every single variant, I’m the asshole who wasn’t strong enough to hold on to her.”

“And what if I’m too scared to let go? Are you just going to fly off and leave me hanging?” She swallowed. “I won’t let go until you do,” I promised, stroking her cheek. “We’ll swing back together, relaunch, and try it again. As many times as you need.” My stomach clenched. “You just have to have a little faith

And then she laughed. I fell in love with her all over again. Not the quiet, observant girl she’d been, or the friend I’d let down, but the woman she’d grown into, beautiful and strong, scarred and still laughing.

“I will do anything to be with you, to keep you, to make this work. I have never felt anything more real in my life.”

You’re here now. Give me your now.”

“You don’t have to handle everything on your own, Allie. You can be scared, and you can love Juniper even if it’s messy. Messy is good, love. Messy is where the best parts of life happen. You don’t have to be in control at all times. It’s okay if you fall apart. I promise I will be right here to put you back together if you just let me.”

“When you don’t give your body time to heal, it will take the time from you.”

“And if you’d gone to will call and given them your name, they would have handed you that ticket. That’s in my contract too. It’s always your seat. Every venue. Every performance. I don’t even know why I did it, except I guess I never gave up hope that you’d walk in one day.”

“The only thing that’s ever mattered is you and me.”

No matter how much time passed, or even if she never forgave me holding on to my secrets, I would love Allie Rousseau until the day I died.

“That man is in love with you. If a decade apart didn’t kill it, then six weeks hasn’t come close to even wounding it.”

sleeping. “So do you,” Kenna countered. “You’re not exactly living, Allie. You’re just . . . breathing. And I love you, but

Why are you brave for everyone but yourself?”

“Dreams aren’t stagnant, Allie. They grow. They shift.”

find a place nearby and we can take it slow.” “Slow?” I shook my head. “Allie, I’ve loved you for eleven years. Anything less than me waking up next to you every morning would feel fucking glacial.”

“I love you. I’m always going to love you. This is me holding on. I don’t want five minutes—I want a lifetime.”