Variation

by Rebecca Yarros

“If you want to see me in uniform, all you have to do is ask.” A playful smile tugged at his lips.

Loving something that actively worked to destroy your body was a bitch.

“So while sure, it makes me jealous that there are a couple of guys here who have seen you naked, I actually feel sorry for them because they’ll never have you again.” I tugged her close and let the words fly like the revelation they were. “But I will. First means nothing. Last means everything

“Truth always differs depending on who’s telling the story, and in complicated situations, there are countless variations. But when it comes to that summer, in every single variant, I’m the asshole who wasn’t strong enough to hold on to her.”

Messy is good, love. Messy is where the best parts of life happen. You don’t have to be in control at all times. It’s okay if you fall apart. I promise I will be right here to put you back together if you just let me.”

“The middle seat of the last row is always empty. It’s in my contract.” Two lines creased the area between his brows. “And if you’d gone to will call and given them your name, they would have handed you that ticket. That’s in my contract too. It’s always your seat. Every venue. Every performance. I don’t even know why I did it, except I guess I never gave up hope that you’d walk in one day.” There, I’d said it.

“You’re going to ruin me for anyone else, aren’t you?” I fell forward, bracing my palms on the bed above his head as his mouth caressed my breasts, the curve of my ribs, sending little shocks of bliss throughout my body. “There’s no one else.” His lips ghosted across my stomach and his hands slipped under my shins. “Never was. Not for either of us.” He kissed the crease of my hip, then dragged my knee over his shoulder. “They were all just placeholders.”

He fit himself into my life like sand poured into a jar full of pebbles, settling seamlessly into the spaces between the rocks. He was everywhere without making himself the priority.

You are every person I go into the water for. There are hundreds of them, but they’re all you. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save Lina, too, Allie. You’ll never know how sorry I am.”