Variation

by Rebecca Yarros

“Agreement amended. My rule is you can touch me whenever you want, Alessandra. Public. Private. Doesn’t matter to me. Any part of me. With any part of you. Anytime you want.”

I wanted to be engraved, etched, and carved so deeply into her soul that she’d never get me out.

“But I will. First means nothing. Last means everything.”

“I’ll fold,” I promised, my voice lowering. “I’ll turn myself inside out if it means I get to be hers.”

“What are you doing?” “Denying you the little orgasm you almost took so I can ruin you with the one I’m going to give you.” His fingers circled my clit, rebuilding what he’d flat-out stolen from me, and he lowered his mouth to my breast, swirling his tongue in the same pattern until that coiled need flared brighter and hotter than before.

“I want you.” I lowered my forehead to hers. “I will do anything to be with you, to keep you, to make this work. I have never felt anything more real in my life.”

“Will you just let me hold you for once?” His arms tightened. “You don’t have to handle everything on your own, Allie. You can be scared, and you can love Juniper even if it’s messy. Messy is good, love. Messy is where the best parts of life happen. You don’t have to be in control at all times. It’s okay if you fall apart. I promise I will be right here to put you back together if you just let me.”

“You are the subject of every fantasy I’ve ever had.”

“You want to stay with me? Then stay.” “Just for the night?” she clarified. “For as long as you want. I told you I’d take you any way I could get you, even one night at a time.”

“Your dreams matter, too, Hudson.” The only dream I cared about was the one I was currently living, where I got to fall asleep next to her.

Do you have any idea what you mean to me? You’re my air.

God, I’d missed her. I needed her. I loved her. She wasn’t the wave or the pylon; she was the entire ocean, as beautiful as she was impossible to fathom. But damn if I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life figuring her out.

“I love you. I’m always going to love you. This is me holding on. I don’t want five minutes—I want a lifetime.”