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“Have you ever wished the dead could come back? Even for a fleeting moment so you could feel them in your arms? Tell them how much they meant to you?”
“Yes.”
“This moment is a gift we either waste or treasure, but I’m thankful for it either way. For the time I’ve spent here. I’ve finally learned what it means to live, and I’ll never forget that, Kaan.”
There’s such bold shock in her stare that I feel like I’m seeing the real her for the first time since she fell back into the world. Not just Elluin. Not just Raeve. A beautiful, devastating blend of both.
I beg the Creators to let us have this love with every beat of my heart. Most of all, I beg for them to keep Kaan safe. Living. Breathing. I’ve lost so much already. The thought of losing him, too . . . It’s buckling.
“I have to go, Kaan.”
“Bluntly aware of your intentions, Raeve. But as I said before you fell asleep, we need to have a serious conversation first.”
“We can either do that now or we can keep pretending for a little while. The choice is yours.”
“And if I don’t want to have this talk you speak of? Ever?”
“Then you’ll have to kill me on your way out of Dhomm. Simple as that. Otherwise, I’ll be on your fucking heels for the rest of eternity until yo...
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“You’re horrible.”
“I’m a horrible male that loves you, Raeve. That wants the best for you, even if it’s not the best for me.”
“Tell me, Raeve . . .”
“How did I fuck you in your dreams?”
“Did we play rough or gentle?”
“Did I tease you until you were wet, shuddering, and mindless, screaming for me to take you?”
“Did I take you hard?”
“Was it deep and slow?”
“All of the above,”
He reaches up, cupping my face, looking at me in the same way he did in that small, lopsided dwelling. Like he’d catch a fallen moon for me. Only this time it doesn’t chafe, because we’re shaping memories from silt. Something that can be washed away with the next torrential downpour.
“You’re magnificent.”
“You’re biased, Sire. And perhaps forgetting the fact that I almost hacked you open more than once.”
“No. I’m fucking obsessed,”
My pulse scatters at the way he’s looking at me. Like a male who’s been living on air, on the verge of starvation, and is now seated before a feast for kings and queens.
“Why did you stop m—”
“I’ve made a decision,”
“Good for . . . y-you.”
“You’re not erasing me,”
“Not this again,”
“I’ll cut you a deal,”
“Fuck your deals.”
“No, Raeve. Fuck yours,”
“I spent over a hundred phases crushed beneath the weight of your death, wrecking myself, trying to shed the hurt from my heart. Do you know how much easier it would’ve been to simply remove you from my mind?”
“But I didn’t, because I’m not a fucking coward.”
“I don’t take you for a coward.”
“Stop t-talking. You’re ruining it.”
“...
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“You don’t get to treat me like a secret this time,”
“I’m not your secret. I’m your truth.”
“I know you’re a feral creature that likes to swipe at everything that moves into your atmosphere, but there are only so many hits I can take before I start swiping back. Once upon a time, I listened to you. Let you push me away. Then you died. So no,”
“I don’t accept your deal. But I will offer you a new one that’s favorable to all parties—not just your own selfish whims.”
“I’m not ...
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“Ohhh, you’re good at that,”
Okay, I am a bit selfish.
“What’s the deal, asshole?”
“Yield and I’ll fuck you.”
“Then I’ll tell you.”
“That’s a shitty ruuuu—Creators,”
“You made the rules last aurora fall when you fucked me at that play table. You had me agree, knowing full well you planned to remove me with a wish up your sleeve to ensure you saw it done.”
“I hate you,”
