“As I was saying, you’ve been the best fake girlfriend a man could hope for. You haven’t gone back on our deal, you haven’t backed down, and you haven’t even found a hitman to haul my carcass down to the Ozarks and be done with my shit—though I know you’ve thought about it plenty.” I bite my bottom lip, trying not to laugh. “So, Sweet Stuff, fake lover and real partner, will you accept this ring? Will you save my balls from getting crushed like grapes one more time?” Without waiting for an answer, he grabs my hand and slides the ring on.
