Beautiful Broken Love

by Shanora Williams

glowing. The mere sight of her made my heart thump faster—a foreign feeling I couldn’t wrap my mind around. Davina.

“You

Right those are the problems I want.

butter.

I think this is the night they kiss.

REMEMBER?

Why am I smiling so hard reading these?

pensive

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pensive pensive adjective pen·​sive ˈpen(t)-siv Synonyms of pensive 1 : musingly or dreamily thoughtful a pensive young poet 2 : suggestive of sad thoughtfulness her face had the pensive mournfulness of a seraph in an old sad painting —Herman Wouk pensively adverb pensiveness noun Synonyms broody cogitative contemplative meditative melancholy musing reflective ruminant ruminative thoughtful

Dad.”

What's the history there? Maybe abuse, infidelity. It is obvious their parents are not together. there is a reason they are concerned about their parents possibly being together. More so why their mom would be seeing their dad.

“She promised she wouldn’t go back to him,” I muttered.

Yep there is bad history with their mom and dad. The kids are not approving at all and even angry and concerned. It appears their dad was abusive in some way or some type of way when they are together he brings ours the worst in their mom. It seems like the relationship is strained the way that Camille mentioned "when Whitney and I agreed to meet dad." If they had a good relationship meeting and spending time together would not have been such a big calculated decision.

When we saw him at the dinner, he said he’d been going to AA

Aww here is some of the reason I doubt all. But dad is a recovering alcoholic.

“What happened between you, him, and Mama was so long ago, and we were all in a dark place, okay? I get it, trust me. I understand why you’re angry, but people can change, Declan.”

It goes deeper than just between dad and mom. It extends to Deke at the very least. Maybe all the kids? Judging by Camille's statement. But for sure Deke. I wonder does this dynamic and bad blood is related to their brother Damon (I think that was his name) death?

“Stop calling

I was thinking too that's why Deke does not like to be called by first legal name. He probably does not want to keep too much tied to his dad. Even his name. He wants to separate himself as much as possible and that is something he control and feel some type of power and autonomy.

we

I wondered how long it would take until they started texting.

“Oh my goodness, Vina, this is just like a rom-com movie where two people coincidentally meet each other and they start getting to know each other through love notes or text messages. I love shit like this!”

Me too lol.

girl,”

Woman! Deke WOMAN! She is a woman. A great one at that. I know some people don't mean harm by it and I even use it as a term of endearment. But when describing someone he is interested in quite seriously this is not good that his natural reaction is to refer to the woman Davina as girl. The subconscious holds many of our heuristics and true unfiltered thoughts and we respond to those automatically. Words are powerful and although girl seems minor it is heavy. plus the fact that he used "females" earlier I don't like this. it is more nuanced because he does not seem like he is disrespectful at all and respects women in general. Especially given his close relationship with his sisters and he seems to care deeply for them and his mom. I realize I may be making something more than what it needs to be but these are the micro responses that often give a window into something bigger. And it just don't sit right with me. Ultimately so far I do like Deke.

striking

Yeah I figured this would strike some feelings for Javier being that he is widow too.

hands in the air, a gesture for me to slow it down. “But you need to listen to me, Deke. You say you do not want to be just friends with her, but what if that is what she needs right now? A friend. And perhaps all those emails you shared made her feel like you were a friend she could talk to. It proved that you did care. Sending her your number probably made her realize you are seeking more from her, and she does not want to hurt you, so she’s keeping quiet. Her emotions are all over the place. She probably doesn’t even feel like herself.

This makes sense. I am glad that Javier is speaking to him from experience and empathy. I can respect that Deke is being honest he wants more than a friendship and rather back off.

chemistry, it will be one day. And when she is ready, she will

“So this woman bruised your ego. Are you sure that is not why you want her? So you can prove to yourself that you can get her? That you have still got it, as you Americans like to say?” Javier asked as Ken tossed a basketball to him.

Javier is on point! I mentioned this similarly only on but mine was a bit more jaded lol.

anymore!”

Here is more. Unfortunately it was alcoholism and physical abuse, thus far. Again Unfortunately I fear there is more abuse.

Octavia was going to be with me for a few weeks, since she was no longer nannying that spoiled kid she always talked about. His parents had let her go, said they didn’t like what she was teaching him. I knew exactly what my sister was teaching that kid: manners.

Oh these are a certain kind of parents those parents are not the kind of parents that should procreate.

girl!”

She is NOT playing lol

things

That's how life works.

those bulging veins that were like arm porn.

I thought I was the only one attracted to a good set of arms and quality tattoos. Arms are so attractive. I think I read somewhere that some women are attracted to arms because of the relation to arms being protective and nurturing. It is one of the top non sexual attractions for women.

I nodded way too quickly for my own good, and he gripped my hip tighter. As soon as his lips came down on mine, my whole body charged to life. My heart pounded faster, and a moan filled my throat as he laid me back on the canopy bed to

This moment was overwhelming in the best way possible. I could feel Deke everywhere—the heat of his breath caressing my cheek when our lips parted, the softness of his full lips as they covered mine. His hips kept grinding so the bulge of his dick could rub against my clit, and I swear I was about to come from the friction alone.

feed

Ohhh wee!

“Oh my God,” she gasped, trying to shove my face deeper. “I need you to tell me, baby. Talk to me.” “Yes,” she panted. “Yes, I like it.” “Is this what you wanted from me?” “Yes, Deke. Yes.” “You’re so fucking sexy.” I flattened my tongue and rolled it over that sweet spot I knew would make her come.

Oh this is a beat when he talks through leading up to the cum. Firm but not overly aggressive. ohhh wee

My face was on fire now. I’d never been talked to that way. I couldn’t say I didn’t love it. There

Girl I get it.

me.

Wait! She didn't text brunch lol.

“Oh, fuck you, Gloria!” I shouted, and damn, did it feel good. Out of respect for Lew, I always kept my mouth shut. I always kept it respectful, and if I couldn’t contain it, I’d walk away so I wouldn’t go off on her.

That's right Davina fuck that old hag. You have been cool with all her disrespect. She has been way out of line and this is too much especially at your place of business. She should be mad at herself and her bad here's and diseased ovaries that led to Lew getting sick. I know that's not entirely how it works but not all the way untrue. But I would hit her so loud and hard with that. That bish Gloria. Ugh.

The emotion had accumulated into a large monster inside me, and this monster was wreaking havoc. There she was again, that bitch Grief. Always coming in swinging.

Personally I feel like Grief is a man. Draining a person for their own good, then when he sees it waerining thin and the woman is going to stand strong and leave for good. That ninja Grief gets his act together, apologizes and show her some good times. Even make a smile and joy appear. Then as soon as she is comfortable with him again. Grief comes in like a natural disaster and destroys her world even more than before. Now Karma is more than likely a woman. Because she is patient, calculated, and strategic and only sets out her plot with people that asked for it as a result of their own bad actions.

open,

I like the way they personifies emotions and concepts such as grief and Karma.

“Take this skirt off and fuck you against the window.” His mouth grazed my jawline, and his voice carried up to the shell of my ear. “Can I do that to you, D?” His voice nearly made me fold. My lips parted as he hovered his mouth above mine. “Yes.” “What’s the magic word?” I leaned in and kissed him softly, slowly, coaxing an illicit groan out of him before whispering the answer. “Brunch.”

Yes! The hot and steamy of this all. I love how he made her say the code word first. I have to say I'm letting my guard down a little with Deke.

“Should I get a condom?” he asked.

I love that the author made safe sex sexy.

window to carry me to the sofa, not once pulling out.

Damn it never slipped out.

“I’ve wanted to see your ass bouncing around my dick for months now,” he said after a carnal groan. “You know I had to hit it from the back, D.”

This woman was doing strange things to me—things I couldn’t explain or understand—but there was one thing I knew for certain. Davina Klein had all of me. Every cell, every breath, every heartbeat—she had it all. She just didn’t know it yet.

She stuffed her mouth with more pasta, then after chewing and swallowing, asked, “Have you ever tried Madonna’s? Their carbonara is so good.”

Ha Davina purposely did not day I miss you back.

me.

I agree with Davina. What is it about her office that people show up with beef. Also what does GG think this slave days? She thinks she can just pay Davina off? Lol. And such a small amount. Plus in this day and age that could be tracked. I'm so proud of the way Davina stands her ground ans is strong. This display from GG is boring, pathetic, and a cliche.

Giselle—

I was thinking Davina was smarter than this smh. I mean I'm not saying she needs to go all in or trust Deke fully and blindly of course not. But the decision should be her own. Davina is a smart intelligent BOSS like literally a boss she is the CEO of an oil company she founded. one has to be intelligent, perceptive and know how to read people. I mean Davina was able to secure a billion dollar investor. But all of a sudden she cannot trust Deke because of a jealous woman tells her not to? It's the old story of a woman scorned. Then at least Davina should have thought why would a stranger that does not know me, a stranger that used a fake name to make an appointment to speak to me, a stranger who has such disdain for Deke try to bribe me for $60k why would she care if I stayed away from him unless she was going to try to het him back or use me as pawn to exact her revenge? Like come on Davina. Why would you trust her over someone you actually have come to know and getting to know? I do understand the hurt and grief she is dealing with and she even admitted to him she is in shambles. I can respect the fact she wants to protect herself and heal. But it seems like she could have at least talked to Deke and figure it out for herself. The one thing I can admit about Deke and I was not his biggest fan at all is he has been above board, caring, and honest. He has shown that she can at least give a chance to explain. And if something does not sound or feel right from the convo she has with DEKE (not Giselle) then she can make the right decision from her. Healing does not been avoidance. This irritated me so bad. Davina is following the typical irrational hurt wounded woman template. I thought she was so much better than that. I'm not saying she needed to keep this arrangement with him and can end it at any point but she should do it on her own terms!

sweet gum trees with saffron-and-gold leaves. A few pine trees

https://www.missouribotanicalgarden.org/PlantFinder/PlantFinderDetails.aspx?kempercode=c116 Common Name: sweet gum Type: Tree Family: Altingiaceae Native Range: Eastern United States, Mexico Zone: 5 to 9 Height: 60.00 to 80.00 feet Spread: 40.00 to 60.00 feet Bloom Time: April to May Bloom Description: Yellow-green Sun: Full sun Water: Medium Maintenance: Low Suggested Use: Shade Tree Flower: Insignificant Leaf: Fragrant, Good Fall Fruit: Showy Tolerate: Rabbit, Deer, Clay Soil, Black Walnut Garden locations Culture Easily grown in average, medium moisture, well-drained soils in full sun. Intolerant of shade. Prefers deep, moist, fertile soils, but seems to tolerate a wide variety of soils. Avoid alkaline soils. Trees are not reliably winter hardy in the northern areas of USDA Zone 5. Noteworthy Characteristics Liquidambar styraciflua, commonly called sweet gum, is a low-maintenance deciduous shade tree that is native from Connecticut to Florida and Missouri further south to Texas, Mexico and Central America. In Missouri, it typically occurs in moist low woods and along streams only in the far southeastern corner of the state (Steyermark). It typically grows to 60-80’ (less frequently to 120’) tall with a straight trunk. Habit is pyramidal in youth, but it gradually develops an oval-rounded crown as it matures. Glossy, long-stalked, deep green leaves (4-7” across) have toothed margins. Each leaf has 5-7 pointed, star-shaped lobes. Leaves are fragrant when bruised. Fall color at its best is a brilliant mixture of yellows, oranges, purples and reds. Branchlets may have distinctive corky ridges. Non-showy, monoecious, yellow-green flowers appear in spherical clusters in April-May. Female flowers give way to the infamous gum balls which are hard, spherical, bristly fruiting clusters to 1.5” diameter. Gum balls mature to dark brown and usually remain on the tree through the winter, but can create clean-up problems during the general period of December through April as the clusters fall to the ground. In pedestrian areas, fruiting clusters must be cleaned up because they not only create unsightly litter, but also create human safety problems (e.g., turning an ankle by inadvertently stepping on a cluster). Tree wood has been widely used for a number of applications including flooring, furniture and home interiors. The gum obtained from genus plants has been used in the past for a variety of purposes, including chewing gum, incense, perfumes, folk medicines and flavorings. Genus name comes from the Latin words liquidus meaning liquid and ambar meaning amber as two species produce a fragrant resin. Specific epithet means flowing storax. The common name of sweet gum refers to an aromatic balsam or gum that exudes from wounds to the tree. See L. styraciflua ‘Rotundiloba’ for a fruitless cultivar of this magnificent tree. Problems No serious insect or disease problems. Webworms, caterpillars, borers and scale may cause problems in some areas. Leaf spots, wood rot and bleeding necrosis may occur. Chlorosis may occur in alkaline soils. Uses Excellent shade, lawn or park tree. Must be planted in large area with room to grow. Fruit can cause litter problems that detract from using this tree as a street tree.

The

This is so cute

“The Wasps, of course! Home team!” “Boo!” Deke threw a thumbs-down at that. “We’ve whooped their asses so many times. He should’ve been flying with the birds, not the bees.” I tossed my head back to laugh. “I think that was

Super cute exchange. Also I like corny.

“His name was Damon,” Deke said. “He died when I was fourteen, so he was seventeen. And I, uh . . .” He scratched the top of his head, eyes bouncing around the room. “I don’t like bringing it up because he committed suicide.”

We found out how Damon died. I wonder was his death something to do with his dad?

“Davina, I know you don’t want to hear me say this, but I love you, all right? And there’s nothing you can say that’ll change my mind, because you’re speaking out of anger and hurt, and I know those feelings. I embodied those feelings for years. Angry all the time, pissed off at the world, wondering why it had to be my brother, wondering what the hell I did to deserve any of what I went through.” “No,” I whimpered, backing away. “You don’t. You can’t love me.” “Yes, I can,” he declared. “I fucking love you. Since the day I set foot in your office, way before I even noticed those rings on your finger, I took one look into your eyes, and you had me. I wanted something with you, and I didn’t care what it was. All I knew was that I could not let you get away from me. You could not leave my life.” “Deke, please,” I cried, bowing my head. “Just stop talking, please.” “No, because I want you to know it, Davina. I’m tired of hiding it.” He caught my hand and clasped it in his, trying to catch my eyes, too, but I wouldn’t look. I couldn’t look, or I’d break. “When you’re away from me, my heart bleeds, Davina. My chest hurts and I drown in my own misery every time I have to watch you walk away from me. I can’t think straight. I can’t sleep. I can barely eat. All those times before, I just let you go because I knew I couldn’t have you, or that you weren’t ready for it yet, but I can’t keep letting you slip away from me. I want you in ways I never thought possible, and I have never fe...

part of me figured maybe I was being too emotional about this, but the rational part of me knew I had a lot to be emotional about.

Ironic that the rational part knew she should be emotional.

“I fucking love you,” he whispered. “Will you be my girlfriend?” I giggled, kissed him again, and said, “Only if you’ll be my boyfriend.”

Awwwww

hand

Is he going to propose? I think he will propose! Or I'm doing the most with my love struck self lol.

He was on one knee, a velvety black box in his hand with an oval-shaped diamond ring nestled inside it. The diamond gleamed in the light, and I didn’t even want to think about how much he’d shoveled out for it. “Deke.

Yay! I was right. How perfect.

But there was something about hearing those cheers fill up the stadium. They were rooting for our happiness, rooting for us.

When you first learn how to play basketball, you stumble a few times and miss a lot of the shots you take. You grow frustrated, but you keep dribbling that ball, keep shooting, keep moving your feet. Your chin stays up, and even when you feel like you’ll never be great—that you’ll never accomplish your goals—that’s when it all falls into place. Our love was a lot like that. Bumpy at the start as we learned, stumbling through feelings and grief, but coming out the other side with our heads up and our dreams in our grasps. We had a love like no other—a beautiful, broken love that healed us when we needed it most.