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Now that I’m at rest, I can feel the echoing sway of the ocean waves in my legs.
My heart is racing in my ears and my stomach is see-sawing and I fucking love it.
And yet some days I am aware that I am driven mostly by fear. Fear of who I am. Fear of who I’m not. Fear of what happens when I face myself in the mirror. To be bold is to be truthful and I am built of lies.
“Why don’t you seem worried?” he asks. “Worrying is for nuns and rabbits.”

