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He’s here. He’s a sight for sore eyes. And yet…I can find no words to say to him. He’s really here.
His hand wraps around my hip possessively as his head dips close to my ear. “Surprise?” I can’t stop the shiver that races down my spine, and I don’t hesitate at all as my body turns in toward his. I want nothing more than to be close to him. To touch him. “You’re here”
His smile. It’s warm. It’s safe. It’s all for...
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“Didn’t really think your number-one fan would miss his girl winning tonight, did you?”
The way West believes in me will never fail to take my breath away.
“I’ve missed you.”
“Me too, fancy face. Me too.” He pulls me against him—with cameras and fans and people screaming my name—and hugs me like I’m his. Because I am.
“I’m so fucking sorry. So sorry I let you walk out that door.” His words rasp over my scalp, tangling in the loose waves that cascade down my shoulders. “I froze. And I should have fought harder. I was busy licking my wounds when what I should have told you is that it doesn’t matter how hard the road is. Bears. Paparazzi. The lowest lows. You and me? We do this thing together. You’re my person. Nothing will change that.” I gulp to swallow the tears. “You’re my person too. I’m fucking miserable without you.”
“What about the kids? They—”
“Will be fine. We’ll make sure they are. It’s better when we do it together, yeah?”
This big, beautiful man who I get to call my own. At this moment, I can’t help but hate myself for walking away from him. He got to me first.
“Always better when we’re together,” I say, smiling as I repeat the words back to him. Then I step in close and kiss him squarely on the mouth.
on with the other nominees. “Don’t be nervous. You’re going to win.” “How do you know?” I whisper to West. He shrugs. “I just do.”
The only thing that gets me up out of my seat is West shooting up to cheer with abandon and pulling me into the strongest, happiest hug. “You did it. You fucking did it. I’m so proud of you,” he shouts in my ear over the thunderous applause surrounding us.
With that, I kiss my man, hold my head up high, and make my way to the stage.
“But I’ve recently sought shelter in a household where all my anxieties and all my missteps are met with unconditional love and support. It’s taken me a long time to accept that I deserve that kind of happiness.
“I’ve also recently met two small children whose strength and good nature make me want to be in their company always. I’ve met a man who loves me at my lowest of lows, who is my number-one fan. West, I love you.” I hold the award up in West’s direction and his cheeks are bright red but he still blows me a kiss back.
“I will be forever grateful for this career and the privileges it has afforded me. And this award? This award is proof that I can do hard things. That I can rise above even the cruelest attempts to tear me down. I can turn a heaping pile of shit into a win. And it’s the perfect place to hang my hat. Thank you for the award. Thank you for the years of inclusion in this industry. I hope you all love the rest of the album too, because it will be my last. You may see me around, or you may not.”
“I’ll be busy living my best life in a small Canadian mountain town that feels like the safe haven I’ve always dreamed of. Ollie? Emmy?” I hold the award up to the camera in front of me. “This one’s for you. See you at home.”
All I want to do is get to West. I can see him. Standing. Clapping. Smiling.
“Once I realized I couldn’t live without you and I’d be miserable for the rest of my life if I tried? Yes. But I’m glad you were here to hear it in person. My flight out is tonight. I was coming straight back to you.” “Home.” I pull back, one hand on each of his cheeks. “Home.”
He smiles against my mouth, and it makes me melt against his hard body. “Remember how I don’t do things I don’t want to anymore?” He chuckles, as an usher hustles toward us, likely rushing to tell us to sit down. “Yeah?” “I don’t want to stay for the rest of this show. Get me the fuck out of here, Coach Thick Thighs.” West smiles down at me. “With pleasure.”
“You want to talk to my girl, asshole? You go through me. And I’m not letting you anywhere near her ever again. Understand?”
