He’s the only thing that keeps me sane most days. Seeing how happy Nikolai was when he came home makes me ache for that, though. Someone to love every part of me. I don’t know if Alexei is even capable of that. So I won’t push it. He doesn’t judge. He doesn’t try to change me. Of all of the people in the world, he accepts me for who I am. And I’m terrified to lose that.
