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“A giant grizzly bear broke into my house. He broke some stuff, but I chased him away.” That sounds better. Nikolai’s brows raise. My arms move as I shrug. “What? That’s better than the real thing.” Lara giggles. “I know it isn’t true. But you’re funny. Can you tell me another?” Nikolai pats my leg and stands. “We’ll be back. Keep her company.” “I promise. For eternity.”
He’s the only thing that keeps me sane most days. Seeing how happy Nikolai was when he came home makes me ache for that, though. Someone to love every part of me. I don’t know if Alexei is even capable of that. So I won’t push it. He doesn’t judge. He doesn’t try to change me. Of all of the people in the world, he accepts me for who I am. And I’m terrified to lose that.
There is not a future where I am not here with her. It doesn’t exist. I won’t let it.
Not having Lara here is messing with my head. My thoughts are jumbled. All I can focus on is her.
As my lips press against hers, my entire being is set on fire. This was worth the wait. My first kiss had to be with my pchelka.
“To me, that kiss could never be. To you? This might be the biggest mistake you’ve ever made, pchelka.”
She’s the most important thing in my life. My entire purpose for living. I don’t want to drive her away, or ruin what we have.
I’m crazy, not stupid. I know she deserves better than me. The thought is a stab through my very soul.
She’s the reason I drag myself out of bed each morning. The reason I make sure I don’t actually get myself killed. My first thought of the day and my last is always her. In fact, there probably isn’t a minute where she isn’t on my mind.
“There is no one on this planet as special nor as beautiful on the inside and out as you, Lara. Your standards should be up in the stars, not in the pits of hell with me.”
I want to kiss her again. I want to take her to bed and cuddle her. And show her in every single way just how much she means to me. I want to worship every damn inch of her until she sees what I see. But I can’t. Because if this is what happens after one kiss. A moment that I will replay on loop until the day I die, what happens if we do more? I will lose the best thing in my life.
If anything that gives me hope, he feels this too. He wants more, he just doesn’t know what to do. I get it. My brothers, our friendship.
I don’t want to live in a world without Alexei by my side. It’s like our souls are tangled together in this beautiful mess we’ve created.
“I might sound mad.” She begins. I look up at her taking another bite of the candy. “Probably. All the best people are, Lara. Nothing wrong with that.”
I don’t know how much longer I can wait to make him realize that we are an end game. That I am simply madly in love with him. I want him as more than a friend and I know he feels this too.
Call me delusional, but the fact he’s stalking me means he’s obsessed with me. Just like I am with him. I can’t be mad about that.
“I want you to own me. I want you to fuck me senseless, claim me as yours. I want it all, with you.”
“Because I was made for your pleasure, Lara. It’s simple. I’m good at making you come, because I’m obsessed with you. I’ve spent my life figuring you out. And apparently, this was the real reason.” I sink my teeth into her thigh and she cries out. Perfect. “We are going to have so much fun exploring this.” I’ve waited my life for this and I fully intend to explore every part of it with Lara.
“You more than made up for it. But now you’ve actually had sex.” She chews on her lip as she watches me. “What happens if you see another girl you might want to try it with?” My heart almost stops. The idea repulses me. “Lara. I’ve waited all of my life for you. No one would ever compare. And I’m never letting you go. So, I’m more than happy being with you and only you for eternity.”
And that’s what I love about him. He is unapologetically him. He doesn’t give a single shit what the world thinks of him. He does what he wants, when he wants, and doesn’t take life for granted. He’s a free spirit. He’s refreshing to be around.
“Most recently. Well, now. I was thinking about how much I love Lara Volkov. And how beautiful and perfect she is in every single way. Far far too good for a brute like me. Except, I could never let her go so she’s stuck with me loving her… for eternity.”
“I love you, pchelka. It’s you. It’s always been you. It will always be you.”
“I’ve been in love with you for a long, long time, Alexei. Please never stop being you. Never stop making me laugh, or being your crazy self. I love you for everything you are. And I’ll love you until I take my last breath.”
“Yes. All of it. All of your crazy, Alexei. I don’t love you despite it, I love you for it.”
But I need to make sure that Lara is safe. She’s the most important thing to me. Taking away the man who kidnapped her will help her to ease her fears.
“If I die protecting her, it’s worth it that she can sleep again.”
“She’s our sister.” Nikolai points to Mikhail. “Don’t you think we want to protect her, too? What’s gotten into you?”
I need to eat. And then discuss with her my next job. Not that I know much about it. But the more I think, the more in love with her I fall, the more clear it becomes I have to do it.
“I’m not rescuing you. I’m loving you. There’s a difference. Now turn around, get that fine ass back to the house and we can talk there if you want to. Regardless, you are coming home to me. Okay?”
“Lara Volkov. I’ve been in love with you for what feels like my whole life. My loyalty may be with your brothers, my heart, that’s all yours, baby. And that comes first, even before my own life. That will never change. What we have, it’s forever. There is no end. We don’t hide. I would be nothing more than honored to be your man to everyone in the outside world, your brothers included. But it’s a risk.”
“She is everything to me. It would have been pointless even getting me out of that jail if she didn’t survive. I’d die without her. Don’t you get it? There is no me without her. I’m so in love with that woman.”
I bet you look so fucking pretty right now. Now be a good girl and come and marry your man.
