Voyage of the Damned

by Frances White

‘You’re using a child as a shield!’ ‘Not quite.’ I dart behind Dado. ‘I’m trying to use a child as a shield.’

‘Sorry!’ I say on instinct, then remember I’m meant to be offending her and throw in a ‘you bitch’ for good measure.

You’re as sane as you were when you set foot on this ship.’ I notice he doesn’t directly call me sane.

‘If I had to pick someone to be murdered by it would absolutely be her ladyship.’ Grasshopper claps gleefully. ‘I’ll kill Dee if he asks me to!’ Wyatt looks between us, speechless.

‘They lie. They all lie.’ I nod. ‘Except you.’ ‘Thanks—’ ‘Too stupid for lies.’ ‘Oh.’

I decide focusing on solving the murder of my ex-best-friend-sort-of-almost-boyfriend is the best way to repress my possible suicidal tendencies.

‘I’m doing the rounds—inviting everyone to a dinner party tonight.’ ‘A dinner party? On a murder ship?’ ‘Yes!’ he says without hesitation.

he uttered his speech with all the confidence that someone would jump up and say, ‘Sorry about all that murder, old chap. Won’t happen again.’

I probably smell like melted flesh. Sexy.

You’re as complex as a six-year-old, Ganymedes. You should be very proud.’ She’s compared me to a truly awesome six-year-old, so I don’t feel that bad.

I’m ready to face my fears. Completely and utterly ready. That’s why I’ve been standing outside Nergüi’s door for twenty minutes. Because that’s what ‘ready’ people do.