Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

by Emily Nagoski

Take half an hour or so to write your story, answering these questions: 1. What parts of the adversity were uncontrollable by you? (e.g., other people and their choices, cultural norms, your life circumstances at the time, your age and prior experience, the weather…) 2. What did you do to survive the adversity, in the moment? (Hint: We know for sure that you did successfully survive the adversity, because here you are.) 3. What resources did you leverage, to continue surviving after the adversity had passed? Be specific. (May include practical resources, like money or information; social resources like friends, your ability to seek, find, and accept help, or your social influence; or emotional resources like persistence, self-soothing, and optimism.) Once you have your story, take a moment to write about a time when those resources empowered you to overcome a subsequent difficulty. Then write a summary: Even though I couldn’t control ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ (adversity), I managed to ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ (survival tactic), and then I used ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ (resource) to grow stronger. After that, I could ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ (skill/win/insight). Writing an origin story can even help you identify your Something Larger, because it helps you notice the parts of your past experience that you leveraged to survive.28 Meaning is not made by the terrible thing you experienced; it is made by the ways you survive.