Sometimes I’ll snap at her, “Why do you have to read before bed?” which is essentially saying, “Why can’t you be more like me?” There is a tone of judgment, implying she is somehow fundamentally flawed. When we have this type of impulse, the courageous questions to ask are, What drives my belief that my partner should be more like me? Am I willing to let go of whatever is blocking my ability to be kind to their difference?
