Give Me Butterflies (Oaks Sisters, #1)

by Jillian Meadows

To the chronic apologizers: let that shit go. Don’t apologize for things that aren’t your fault. Don’t apologize for things you don’t regret. And definitely don’t apologize for who you are.

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. Maya Angelou

Anyone with anxiety knows that someone telling you not to worry is about as helpful as a hangnail.

She’s glowing all the time, illuminating everything around her, and the blazing light feels like a third-degree sunburn for a man who has been in the dark for too long.

“When you work hard for something, you have more appreciation for the end result.”

“Thanks for the chuckle. I’ve lived a lonely life the last few months, and laughing with a friend is nice.”

“Don’t feel like you should have to go through life apologizing for things you didn’t do. Sometimes you don’t even need to apologize for things you did do.

“Toxic people will do that to you. Your brain can completely shut down around them to protect itself from those awful memories. But you don’t owe him anything. Not a text, a conversation, or even a glance. He made you feel like you weren’t good enough. Like you had to change for him. But you don’t have to change for anyone.”

Millie’s company feels like warm embers settling into my soul.

Maybe I wanted to be the one to put that beautiful smile on her face. I think I’m addicted to it.

“I’ve been wanting you since I saw you in that elevator the very first time,” he whispers. “Then you came here and lit up our house and our life, and I think I’m addicted to it.” His grip on my knees tightens, like he can’t help it.

I fit perfectly here, in this place I’ve dreamed about. Like this spot was made for me.

“Oh, Millie. I don’t want what friends do. I want much more than that with you.”

She can tease me all she wants when she looks at me with that smile. The one that illuminates the whole room and melts me from the inside out.

“Tell me what’s on your mind. We can figure it out together.”

You also said you needed time after your last relationship, so I was waiting until you felt more secure in that way.”

everything in me wants to make you happy. Make you proud. Keep you safe. I may not know all the answers to everything in our relationship, but I know you can trust me to try. You can trust me to be respectful and kind.” He slides a hand through my hair. “You can trust me to work with you to solve anything that makes you uncomfortable.” He brings my fingers to his lips and kisses them softly. “I’m not here to stifle you or control you or shape you into something else. I’m here to help you shine.”

“This is nerd heaven,” she says as she runs her hand along a shelf of games and picks one up. I settle an arm over her shoulders. “Let’s pick one out.” “Only one?” “As many as you want.” “Are you trying to sweet-talk me?” “Possibly.” “It’s working.” She shrugs.

“My first option is Wingspan.” I hold the game under my chin like she did and press my cheeks into a wide smile like I did outside. “Board Game Geek says this is excellent.” She bites back a grin. “A generous wingspan is excellent.” I look at the box in my hands. “What do you mean?” A snorting laugh bursts out of her. “I wish Fable or Tessa were here. They’d get it.” She can tell I’m lost and slides into the chair next to me to lean my way. “Okay, there’s a popular fantasy-romance series where the sexy heroes have wings, and they use the term ‘wingspan’ as a euphemism for a man’s . . .” Her gaze drops to my lap suggestively. “The size of his wingspan relates to the size of his . . .” Her eyes flare with meaning. “The size of his pants?” I ask, feigning innocence. She leans closer and sets her hand on my thigh. “No. The size of his—” “Do you all need any help this evening?” a cheery voice asks from beside our table. We both glance up to find a tall young woman surveying our stacks of games. “Hi, Deanna,” Millie greets her, noting her name tag. “We were discussing the importance of a good wingspan. Don’t you agree?” Millie stands with a wily grin. I don’t know how she’s pegged this woman as someone who knows whatever language she’s speaking, but Deanna’s eyes sparkle with understanding, and she nods emphatically. “But sometimes the wingspan is more of an energy, you know? An aura about a person.” “Totally agree.” Millie points to the game before me. “I say yes pile for that ...

“Here’s the plan,” I tell Millie as she takes a sip of her coffee. “You pick out your favorite book for me to read, and I’ll get my favorite book for you to read.” She slams her free hand to her chest with a loud gasp. “That’s blasphemy. You have one favorite book? Out of the millions of books in the world, you can narrow it down to one favorite?” She steps between two romance shelves, and I follow her into the aisle as she runs her fingers over the colorful spines. “There are so many good ones. How could I pick?”

“How about this one?” I ask, pulling a dark book covered in flowers from the shelf above her head. When I bring it into her line of vision, her cheeks turn rosy. “Mmm,” I hum. “You’ve read this one. Did you like it?” She nods, and her gaze drops to my mouth. My lips graze over her cheek as I whisper, “If I get it, will you read it to me?”

This feels permanent and inevitable, like we’ve been hurtling toward each other all along and are finally about to reach the point of impact. But there’s not a single part of me that wants to change

She’s done something to my heart that I wasn’t expecting, yet somehow it feels like it was the plan all along.

I’ve taken the wasteland Kyle left, all barren soil and no sunshine, and I’ve tended to it. I’ve watered it. Planted seeds. Worked to grow myself back. Then Finn came along and encouraged the progress. He amplified my light, and he and the girls have brought an abundance of new blossoms and bright colors and sweet smells. And something has settled into place. A realization that this is what love looks like. It’s mutual respect, where I can stand on my own, and he encourages me to do so. It’s the feeling that we’re fine without each other, but a million times better with each other. It’s blooming and thriving with someone else and caring for the person next to you because seeing their flowers grow makes your world even more extraordinary.

You’re a badass butterfly who has emerged from her chrysalis, fucking stunning and ready to fly.”

Astronomically Yours, Finn

I want you to know that how they act has nothing to do with you. They have sad hearts, and when someone’s heart is sad, they can be mean to other people around them. But that doesn’t make it okay. They still shouldn’t treat anyone that way. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you or me or Millie. You are both perfect.”

“And that”—he points to a small grouping of stars— “is the Butterfly Cluster.”

“I painted you here months ago. The same stars Clara wished on every chance she got.” He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear as a tear drips from my eye and seeps into my arm. “Millie, she pointed me right to you.”

“I wish you could see how much you’ve done for us,” he whispers. “I’ve laid all the shattered pieces of myself in front of you over the last few months. All the broken fragments I’ve been trying to glue back together on my own. The grief and the pain and all my flaws and insecurities.” He cups my face in his palm. “But you weren’t afraid of it. In fact, you’ve been helping me put it all back together in little ways since I met you.”

“I don’t need the sun when you’re here, stella mia. You’re the brightest star in my universe, and I’ve been orbiting around you since you poured coffee all over me. I could spend the rest of my life watching you shine.”

Strength isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s a quiet power that isn’t so obvious to the world.”

“It’s one of my greatest joys in life to prove idiots wrong—especially men,”