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with his piercing blue eyes, angular face, and unruly mop of black hair, he’s like an academic version of Matt Bomer or a two-thirds scale model of Jacob Elordi or a really beautiful Siamese cat.
He must be feeling refreshed, because out of nowhere, he announces, “I’m about to kiss you all over” and approaches me. Well, this is an interesting turn of events. It’s not even the weekend! I close my eyes and tilt up my chin and . . . I feel him sweep up my Devon rex cat, Chairman Meow, from his perch on my shoulder. Miles hugs the cat tightly, planting a series of dry pecks all over his pointy face and abnormally large ears.
It’s always quiet here in the shop, perfect for conversations, largely because their in-house roasted, sustainably sourced, ethically farmed, GMO-free coffee product is sort of awful. It’s hard to make coffee equally bland, bitter, and acrid, but they manage.
Give me a Kelce-brothers type every day, and twice on Sunday.
“I guess I fear that Taylor Swift will never produce an album more sonically cohesive than 1989.”
“I’m always serious. I have two great loves in my life: exotic birds and Taylor Swift’s music. That’s everything you need to know. They are my reasons for existing. Everything in my world goes back to my passion for these two things.”
“My man’s a Swiftie. Did not see that coming.”
She’s all panic, no disco.
“Kanye worked at the Gap? That explains so much.”
I don’t love HOAs because they can be draconian, but like Mussolini, they keep the metaphorical trains running on time in the neighborhood. Because there’s no regulation on this street, an owner could easily park a rusty Chevrolet on blocks and allow weeds to grow rampant, and no one could do anything about the eyesore.
am legally obligated to bring this offer to my seller. I suspect a counteroffer will not be forthcoming, because this number is more in line with a van down by the river than an impeccable Craftsman in a desirable neighborhood.”
Michael is a technophobe who can’t read texts, and you bought a bird who spits out Taylor Swift song titles?”
“And what is the deal with Taylor Swift?” I ask. “I work security when she’s in town. I’ve gotten to know her. Good kid. Great pipes. Talented songwriter. Nice family. Someone did a survey recently. Did you know more than half the US population considers themselves Taylor Swift fans? When was the last time this country came to a consensus on anything? She brings people together, and I support that. She’s all about connections.
