The Anti-Heroes

by Jen Lancaster

I’ve tried so hard, but I don’t know how to get there, and this feels like a huge personal failing. In my head, I understand I don’t need a man to complete me, but in my heart, I can’t comprehend why I perpetually put it all out there and get nothing back in return.

And nothing’s better than brunch food; it’s a personality assessment. For example, if my date opts for some sort of sweet waffle or whipped-cream-topped pancake as their main, he’s not a serious person. No one can eat that much sugar first thing and accomplish anything during the day. If he does dry toast or eggs cooked without butter or oil, he’s going to be literal and humorless. Not for me, thanks. From our chats, I learned that Brian is a skillet man, occasionally veering into breakfast burrito territory. He’s someone who’ll get protein, carbs, and veggies, the perfect blend, pairing them with a mimosa and a cup of coffee. That is husband material right there.

I knew she was destined for big things. What I appreciated is that she could look at me, her polar opposite, and see all I had to offer too. She made it her mission for me to believe in myself like she believed in me. If Emily took a person in, it was like the sun shining directly on them. Everything in her orbit flourished.

The robber fires one shot into the ceiling. Bits of plaster rain down, layering our table with a fine coating of grit and larger chunks. Brew and Chew is in an older building with a tin ceiling, and suddenly my mind goes to the dangers of inhaling asbestos, like that’s our biggest problem.

But I never thought anyone would spy on us for profit, sabotage our plans, all to benefit some faceless corporation’s shareholders. How does any person with a soul decide, Fuck the rain forest; what really matters is this quarter’s earnings report?

And I hope that spurs you to do something. Because you are capable and the only thing stopping you is you.”

You’ll stare directly into the sun but never in a mirror, right? But once you get over being afraid of who you are, the world will be your oyster.”