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Avoidance has always been my coping mechanism. If I don’t think about it, it doesn’t matter. My day goes on.
Now my walls are impenetrable—no one gets in, I don’t go out.
Maybe I can put some makeup on tomorrow and feel like a person again.
After a few moments, it deflates and the screen shows 160/120. I’m literally a walking heart attack.
How could I do this? I’m just as awful as everyone says I am. Just as heartless and cold as I was raised to be. All I do is hurt people, no matter how hard I try not to. I can’t exist on neutral ground. No one sees me as the person I sometimes dream I am. A nice girl. A person worthy of love. A soul that didn’t crawl up from hell.
