The Fabric of Our Souls

by K.M. Moronova

An emergency exit that waits patiently for any who stray.

My doctor says it’s a chemical imbalance in my brain, and fuck, they’re probably right. But it doesn’t stop the very real, un-chemical, raw nothingness that ravages my entire being.

But I’m so tired. How do I tell him I want to sleep forever? In a bed of roses or in a goddamn urn, it doesn’t matter—anywhere but here will do.

“I’m just… so tired, James.”

Grind, grind, grind for forty-plus hours a week just to stand at the grocery store and worry about whether you can afford food.

“See, that’s what you’re going to look like if you keep up the scowling.”

Liar—those rings are all onyx. He’s still holding onto the hope they’ll banish his grief too.

except the wrinkles on this lady’s face are clearly from smiling, not scowling, like the witch of my past.

“I like sex.” He stops and glances back at me with knitted brows. “I’ve worked here since I graduated college, Miss Coldfox. I assure you it’s not the first time I’ve heard that heinous answer.”

I want to experience what she’s feeling—that weightlessness that I’ve been chasing for so long.

I want to touch her, to feel her. To bite her and tell her how much her mind repulses me. I want her to live.

“Unless you want to get bruised in the showers though, I recommend we wait until tonight. I promise I’ll have your hips unaligned by morning.” He shoves me toward the laundry

All I know is that I am so, so tired.

I like that about rainy days. The weight makes me feel like it’s okay to be down. No one judges you if you’re sad on a rainy day.

“You have to wear a condom!” I try to crawl away but his grip is bruising on my hips. “Do I? After you said such a nasty thing?”

“Noted, you’re a thief too,”