The Fabric of Our Souls

by K.M. Moronova

“No—I knew the moment I saw you. You were not to be pitied. Your mind is a beautiful and dangerous thing, Wynn, sick as it may be. But your soul illuminates the world around you, setting all else ablaze with your inevitable anguish.”

This is why I hate myself. Because I do awful things to people I care about.

“I’m not okay either,” he whispers, his voice trembling. “I’ve never been okay. But when I watch you fall apart, it hurts too much for me to bear. Please don’t go to those dark places, Wynn. Please stay here in the dim light with me. You’re my last hope—my cure.”

I know Yelina is into me—she has been since the day I arrived—but I’ve never been one for romance, not until Wynn.

She was made for me—not him.

A sharp knock comes at the passenger-side door. When I look up to see who the fuck is out here this late at night, my bones chill. His smile is crooked and all too familiar. My scars burn and my breath catches in my lungs. His eyes are as blue as my own, but altered, evil. I will never escape him.

“He brought Liam here and hurt him.

“Can you make me forget, Wynn? Even if it’s just for tonight?” His voice is somber and hushed, sad and heartbreaking. “Make you forget what?” I rest my cheek against his chest and listen to the pattering of his heart as warm water spills over us. “Everything that isn’t you. My life before you. Make me forget all the tragedies so that I can—” He cuts himself off and grits his teeth

“So that I can love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

“I wanted to pull Yelina’s hair when she forced you to take her to town,” I admit with a small grin. He chuckles and brings his lips to mine. “Such a vicious little creature.”

“I love you, Wynn.” “You’ll lose your mind,” I say, pushing him back enough to look into his eyes as my lips curl into a sad smile. “You’ll lose your mind if you follow me into the dark, Liam.” “Already there, baby.”

Fear dips deep into my chest. No, I haven’t. I can’t handle rejection. I’d rather ignore things and avoid them than ever deal with them outright.

The fabric of our souls is thin and worn. We must be gentle and love tirelessly.”

“What genre do you like?” He winks at me. “Dark romance where the heroine gets fucked by the psychopaths.” I burst out laughing and he cracks a wide smile too. “Me too. I’ll give you recs if you give me yours.”

“I just really got in my head… Do you have any idea how hard it is to have the two closest people in your life want to die?”

“You’re saying our cure had a secret ingredient named Nevers?”

“I love you both completely, but in different ways. It’s only ever been you.”

“The tattoo is for the three of us. It was just me and Lanston before, but you’re a part of our healing as well, so we decided to add you.”

Liam notices my giddiness and grins. “That much of an autumn girl, huh?” “Don’t you love it too?” “Yeah, I do. But I enjoy seeing how much you like it better.”

And that’s okay. It’s okay to be small and hidden away. Most gems are. Self-affirmations.

“I’ve had an IUD since I was twenty.” “Have you ever had one pulled out of you?” he asks darkly. I shake my head, dizzy and drunk with lust. His teeth brush against my tender nipple and he breathes against it. “I can do that someday for you, if you ever crave to swell with my child. I’ll pull it out slow and then I’ll fuck you until you’re screaming. I’ll fuck you until you’re pregnant with my baby.” He takes my lips again.

“I don’t think anyone in this world understands me more than you do, Lanston.”

“But it will always be him, won’t it?” he whispers. I tighten my jaw and nod. “But you’ll always be a part of our cure.” He lets out a short, low chuckle. “Your what?” “Our cure. The three of us. Always the three of us.” I beam at him and the sadness in his eyes brightens until it fades away.

Because of you two, I want to live. Every single day.” He presses a kiss to my forehead and I cup his cheek with my palm. “Because of you two, I want to live too.”

Jason whispers in a low, distorted voice, “Come on, Liam. Let me play with them.”

“Oh my God,” Liam says so absently that it sends goosebumps up my arms. His eyes are wide and my heart instantly drops to my stomach. “It’s Crosby.”

“Where’d you go, little bunny? Come plaaaay.” His voice is distorted and gurgly.

“He has a grudge against me that long precedes my time at Harlow… but I’m worried he’s set his eyes on someone else now—”

“I’ll take care of him when he comes back… I’m sure he’ll be here again in a few weeks.” I lower my eyes, thinking of how I’ll kill the man who’s haunted me for such a long time.

“He’s my brother.”

Perry was different. He didn’t remember the crash. Even though my mother told him Neil was dead, he acted like he didn’t hear it. It only took a few hours for his first episode to happen. He became a devil. A demon in the flesh, sent to punish me. I welcomed it. He called himself Crosby.

Crosby came to find me. And find me he always did.

But then I saw her. And for some reason, I thought maybe I didn’t need to be punished anymore. My cure.

Crosby’s words echo in my mind. “You need to be punished, Liam. You survived so that you could be punished for Neil’s death.”

I thought once that I knew what a broken man looked like. I thought I knew what their eyes held. I was wrong.

A broken man is like a dead flower.

It’s not murder, I tell myself. Liam didn’t explicitly say he was going to kill him… but I think it’s implied.

And the only thing I ever learned from opening up to people was that they desired to know exactly what would hurt me, only to turn the blade back and inflict riotous, irrevocable damage themselves.”

“That I was better off dead. Because all my existence did was make them wish to die.”

“You wanted to die so they didn’t feel like they had to.”

So no, I don’t think I will ever understand exactly what you’ve felt, but God, did it hurt to hear you say it. Because I know the burden of wanting to die. To die, just so they can live without the weight of your existence.”

“No one looks at me like you do, Wynn. When you look at me, I feel like I can shatter into a thousand birds and just… fly. You set my soul free from the chains I keep wrapped around my shoulders.”

“You’re mine too, Wynn. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Liam knows that; I think that’s the only reason he trusts me with you. My love for you two… It’s endless. Like a sea that just keeps lowering the depths to make more room for the life we three have ahead.”

Only two survived the tragic fire at Harlow Sanctum, Roman Bear and Sydney Lawsen. Over fifty-six bodies, including staff and patients, were recovered. Police are still looking for the arsonist.

“I just told you. Aren’t you listening? I’m going to kill your friends.

It never gets easier hearing him talk in his childish voice. Looking at an adult man’s face and hearing the innocence he tries to imbue into his tone is chilling.

I’m blindly in love, and each second I waste means his life on the line.

Liam smiles faintly, reassuring him, as he chokes out, “I’ll always love you, Perry.” Pop. Pop. Pop. Crosby’s eyes widen only for a moment before they go dull and distant. Liam sets the gun behind himself and then tries to pull his brother in close for a hug, but he’s too weak, lost too much blood. He keeps his bandaged hand atop Crosby’s shoulder.

“Knew that I loved you. Always you.” He brings me in for a tight hug. It starts trickling rain as I look up at him. He’s crying, but his smile is endearing. “I love you too. You know that.” I glance back at Liam, who is still walking ahead and getting further away from us. “Come on, we need to catch up or we’ll get left behind.” Lanston shakes his head. “Not this time, baby. Go on ahead without me. I’ll see you two later.”

“H-he s-s-saved us.” Fresh tears fall from his eyes and he grits his teeth as he forces himself to continue. “C-Crosby shot h-him.”