The Darkest Parts of Me

by Shandy Mandarino

Space doesn’t care what you want to do or where you want to go. It will always find a way to remind you that it is in control, and because of that, you have to prepare for anything and everything. Including, but not limited to:

It’s unfair that these tragic events take a piece of our souls from us. And for some of us, instead of filling those missing parts with something to make us whole again, the grief only settles in and leaves us broken and incomplete.

I know how utterly terrifying it feels to face the things we’ve kept hidden away for so long.

I used to be afraid of things that made sense to be afraid of, like the dark or heights, but the truest form of fear is when you become afraid of yourself. Some people fear that they may never accomplish their lifelong goals, never find out who they truly are, or fear that their life has no purpose. But not me. It’s not about whether or not I know who I am or what my life means—it’s the opposite. I know exactly who I am, what I’ve done, and what I deserve. The retreat only distracted me from the truth.