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July 29 - August 2, 2022
I’ve loved being a SEAL.
Then my mother died and we lost both parents.
And boy was he angry. At everyone. At everything. Mostly, at my brothers and me for reminding him of the woman he loved and God took way too soon.
“Because if you don’t break the bow, you’ll never go forward, and an arrow was meant to forge ahead.”
“That’s right, and you were meant to go places. Now, let’s go to the house to see if your brothers have left it standing.”
“Removing half the feather will make the arrow curve and alter its course, which is why sticking together matters.”
sadness. “We made a pact. No marriages, no kids, and never raise our fists in anger. She would’ve understood. She would’ve wanted us to stand by each other and be nothing like he was in the end.”
I needed him and the memory of that night more than he can ever know. I’ve relived it so many times, clinging to those feelings that I was desperate for, loving how my world came alive and colors were brighter when I was with him. He was like a comet that set the sky on fire, and the tail has never faded for me.
Was it because my parents were killed the week before the wedding, and I was desperate for security?
Is this my punishment for lying for years about Hadley, suspecting that she isn’t Kevin’s daughter?
Oh, God, this kid is going to break my heart.
Promises break. Bruises heal. But nothing erases the scars that abuse leaves.
“You can’t take a shot until you break your bow.” “What does it mean?” Connor moves his hand, covering mine completely. “It means you have to pull back on the bow, use all your might to fight against the strain in your arm as you’re going for what you want. It means that if you don’t break the bow, you can’t ever go forward and hit the target.”
“When my mother died, he became a completely different person. He drank constantly, and when the alcohol stopped numbing the pain, he decided to spread it around. My brothers took what they could to protect me since I was the youngest and by far the smallest.”
“No one deserves to be hit, Ellie. No one. It doesn’t matter whose hand it comes from—it’s wrong and unforgivable. I vowed that I would never be like him, and I want you to understand how much I mean it. I would never hit someone in anger unless I’m trying to protect what’s important to me.”
“I did need you.” “But we weren’t each other’s to have.”
“No, I guess we weren’t.”
“I can’t take a shot if I don’t break the bow, Ellie. I’m strong enough to hold off on releasing the arrow, until you’re ready.” Her eyes widen, and her breath hitches. It was worth it. The sweat, frustration, and deviation of plans just to see that look. We may have lost our chance years ago, but I’m not a kid anymore, and I have my target set. I’m waiting for the sights to align.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s a daddy, a husband, a friend, or someone you don’t know. No one should ever be allowed to hurt you. You should tell someone right away if it happens. Don’t ever be afraid that it’s your fault because it’s not ever your fault.”
Can two people belong to one another without ever actually being together? Can you love someone without knowing them? I’ve always believed in soul mates, and standing here in front of him, I can’t deny that we’re something . . . more.
“You’re everything I remembered and nothing I was prepared for,” I say right before I kiss her.
“You say these things, and I have to stop myself from falling.” “If you fall, I’ll catch you.” “What if I take you down with me?” “I’ll shelter you so you don’t get injured.” “And if you’re hurt in the process?”
“I’ll take a puppy instead.”
“Well, well, if Duckie hasn’t fixed the place up,”
“Jackass, I mean, Jacob, this is Ellie.”
“It’s because she realized that he’s the ugly one of us.”